Archive for January 21st, 2010

first published on 12-4-06 on www.liciaberry.com

I had an interaction last night that was such a blessing to me; I went to a cookie exchange party here in the valley and got into a conversation with a woman that was simultaneously sad and affirming for me, causing me to get even clearer on what I want for myself and this beautiful world.

This woman solicited me to help reform our local Goddess Group (an informal group of local women who  enjoy getting together for ceremony, play, and being with each other) into something more “serious”.  She is a proponent of one of the “new age” spiritual philosophies and she would like to see the group become much more like this philosophy.  I asked her what she meant by “serious”; I am all for intentionally working with the global energies (such as the full moon) and expanding love into the universe from a grateful and intentional heart, but I am not interested in getting “heavy” or dogmatic, if that’s what is meant by “serious”.  I told her that I have found that lightness and play and humor and love are a more effective tool towards feeling our divine connection and therefore shifting the vibration of the planet.  She then seemed to be triggered by what I said, and went into her philosophy that she has learned, which is that if we are not taking things “seriously”, we are allowing our ego to dominate us.  She said, “If we don’t negate our ego, we will never grow“.       

WOW.  Such a clear picture did I get from this comment!  A picture of sadness, self hatred, judgment of self and others, self-flagellation.  It was shocking and so very sad at the same time.  I got a picture of how many of us try to pretend some part of ourselves is not really there, and over time, how we forget our wholeness.  I got a picture of the earth, and millions of people, who in their misguided attempts to “be spiritual” try to kill off parts of themselves that they were born with, that are necessary in order to be alive.  I heard a voice saying “This is how wars start.”  I got images of people of different cultures over time saying “….I negate you…..you do not exist….your beliefs are wrong….I negate you.”  I got a clear understanding that if we are making war on ourselves by negating a part of ourselves, of course we are going to make war on others, whether in physical combat or in arguments over “what is more spiritual”.  To try to negate a part of oneself is like cutting off your own limb.  It was an all encompassing vision that has stayed with me since last night.

I took all of this to the aspects of All Creation that I know as angelic and this is what they had to say this beautiful morning:

“Sweet One, your instinct is correct from our standpoint.  You have children and you have seen with your own experience how if you ignore a needy child they just get louder, they up the ante, they will not be negated.  Over time, if they are repeatedly ignored, they will give up their fight to their birthright of being seen, heard and acknowledged, but they have closed away a part of themselves in the process.  This is what occurs when an individual tries to shut off a part of themselves….that aspect of their divinity gets louder, it wants to be heard, until over time a door shuts inside and the person forgets they have that part.  But the beauty and the challenge is that the part they have tried so hard to negate is now unconsciously “driving the train” of their life. 

It is not possible for you to be in the earth plane, in a physical body, without an ego.  The ego is a necessary part of your Being and the beautiful design of being in physical form.  You can no more negate your ego than you can negate your existence.  It is not possible to be in physical form without an ego.  You see, in the grand design, the ego is the information gatherer; the ego processes the data of life in the physical plane, then gives that information to the rest of your infinitely vast being.  You ego is a valuable part of the multi-leveled and fabulous individuated consciousness of Prime Source that you represent. 

It is human invention that a person must “kill the ego” in order to be spiritual, just as it is human invention to judge something as right or wrong.  There is no angelic presence that will tell a human being to negate the ego, as it is our very essence to be unconditionally loving (Prime Source is unconditionally loving, too).  In addition, it is an illusion to think that you CAN negate the ego.  As you witnessed in the one who brought this to you, her ego ran rampant in her extreme desire to negate it.  What part of herself is making war on herself, her grand Spirit?  We think not.  This situation makes us chuckle a bit. 

It may be worth your time to have compassion for one who would wish a part of themselves dead; only one who is in quite a bit of pain would wish such a thing.  We have a question; how is one who holds themselves to such a rigid standard able to grow?

We advocate an appropriate partnership between the ego and the vastness of who you are.  We of course see that the desire to negate the ego is a backlash to the many on the earth plane who allow their ego to be the ONLY part of themselves making the decisions, regardless of the input of their Soul, Spirit and their Source (and of course their angelic helpers!)  However, one extreme swing of the pendulum in opposition is just as imbalanced as the other.  It is our suggestion that humans choose to come into balance, to choose right relationship between their ego and the largeness that they truly are.  We see that attempting to negate a part of oneself is not life affirming, to you or to the Whole.   

Any aspect of yourself that you attempt to destroy, hide, suppress, or negate will come back to be acknowledged in larger ways, and primarily unconsciously, because you have not been loving enough to yourself to acknowledge that aspect consciously; so it will make itself known in ways you don’t notice.  The analogy of a needy child is appropriate here again; if the child cannot get what it needs from the appropriate source, it will seek what it needs elsewhere, and sometimes in ways that are not life affirming.  It will find a way to be heard, or die.

You are magnificent, multi-faceted Beings; do you truly believe that your Source would have made you the way you are, only to have you reject certain parts as unworthy?  Would your loving Source have intentionally created “flawed” beings?  Do you mistrust the wisdom of Prime Source so much? 

Our suggestion is that you love all aspects of yourselves unconditionally, as we and Prime Source love you.  You are so very dear and precious to us, and it is our great honor to know you, an extension of ourselves.  Thank you for this opportunity to speak to this.  We love you, dearest.”

Refuse to fall down.

If you cannot refuse to fall down,

refuse to stay down.

If you cannot refuse to stay down,

lift your heart toward heaven,

and like a hungry beggar,

ask that it be filled,

 and it will be filled.

You may be pushed down.

You may be kept from rising.

But no one can keep you from lifting your heart

toward heaven—

only you.

It is in the midst of misery

that so much becomes clear.

The one who says nothing good came of this,

is not yet listening.

originally published on www.liciaberry.com 5-22-07

Self Love and Self Worth

My personal healing process of late seems to be taking me to the old wound of being unloving towards myself and feeling unworthy.  I am asked with some frequency (although not as much anymore) if we ever overcome these old wounds; well, the answer is yes and no.  From an evolutionary standpoint, each time we face an issue and do a bit of healing on it, it gets a bit better, and we move on until we hit it again on our spiral walk. At that point, we have yet another opportunity to do some more healing on it, and the process continues.  Yes, there are some things that I have released to the point I never think about them or see them in my life; they seem not to exist anymore.  And I do believe that something can be healed (whether it is physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, it is still all energy) in an instant if all the right factors are lined up.

However, old and deep “wounds” such as feeling unloved or unworthy are more challenging.  I do revisit them on occasion, and each time I get closer to my core pain.  It is an act of self love and courage to go into that pain.  It is an act of self mastery to choose to heal it and not be pulled into its heavy gravitational field!

Another point of view is the one I tap into daily-the aspects of ALL Creation that I know as angelic.  What they say is that all of this forgetting our bliss and then remembering it is like a grand game of hide and seek, and at a spiritual level, it is considered FUN.  That even though our ego may be in pain, at another sphere of our being, we are laughing our butts off.  I think it is a grand punch line that when we merge back into non-physical, the first thing we do is laugh at how we thought we were supposed to suffer while living as a human!  Imagine, all that time spent being unhappy, thinking we aren’t perfect just the way we are….when all we came here to do was to enjoy the journey!

So, as I observe my feelings of unworthiness, acknowledge them and bless them, then choose to release them through intention and the angels help, I must remember that the forgetting of my wonderful-ness is part of the game, and not judge myself for those feelings.  Instead, I can choose to see it as another opportunity to rush into the arms of remembrance and feel its joyous relief.

Years ago I went through a deep and despairing walk with unworthiness and was given a beautiful book called On Wings of Light by Ronna Herman as a gift; inside was inscribed a personal message from Archangel Michael.  (Ronna Herman has channeled Archangel Michael for years; I was introduced to her by my dear friend Shanna MacLean at Circle of Light.  Ronna wrote me this note in 2001 just before 9/11 and I simultaneously “came out” as a shamana and wisewoman. )  When I thanked Ronna for the message, she replied:

“Hello, Dear Heart, so glad the message was meaningful for you.  I believe as you read the book and the messages more and more will become clear for you.  You have undoubtedly had many lifetimes as shaman/wise woman and spiritual leader – what is important now is that you live each day the best way you know how and your path will unfold the way that is best for all.  Start with yourself – learning self-love and self worth and then project that to others and help them see the best in themselves.   It all starts from within and radiates outward – one kind deed and loving thought at a time.

If anyone had told me ten years ago that I would be doing what I am doing and having the wonderful experiences that fill my life every day, I would have told them they were crazy.

Just Be the beautiful person you are and the rest will happen naturally.

Love and angel blessings, Ronna Herman”

And that has been the case; since I received this message in 2001, so much water has moved under (and over) the bridge, and self love has been the key to carrying me forward in grace.  Daily I choose to love myself unconditionally and to know and experience myself as worthy of unconditional love!  May you, too.