Posts Tagged ‘consciousness’

The Merging of the Worlds, collage 2010 by Licia Berry, copyright Licia Berry 2010

I know summer’s not over yet, but I’m already seeing a pattern and giving it a theme; for me, this is the summer of the masculine.

What do I mean by that?  I experience that I have both feminine and masculine energy within me; I believe this is true for everyone.  I am not talking about male/female when I say feminine/masculine.  I’m talking about feminine and masculine principles, the yin/yang or qualities of energy that serve equal and opposite functions and create and sustain physical reality. 

I am aware through my own 45 years of being a keen observer of human behavior (as well as working my own inner process like a scientist in a laboratory) that these two energies, when in harmony and balance, are the foundation and the key to living a physical life in beauty.  I am also aware that when these two energies are not in harmony or balance that they reveal how we make choices that are imbalanced and unsupportive of the Whole.  

If you’ve been reading my work for the last several years, you know that I have been working very intensively with the Sacred Feminine and Great Mother to find Her, feel Her, experience Her and embody Her in my life, all in the name of informing my inner feminine about how to live in balance.  She has been very present and anchored within my consciousness and my physical existence, so it was time to do the same for my inner masculine as well… after all, I’m the one who is constantly taking about balance, right?

So I started bringing my inner eye to my masculine energy a couple of years ago, and it has been astonishing to discover who my inner masculine is.  I have found many faces of my earthly father, grandfathers, uncles, other father figures and cultural faces of the masculine.  These faces exhibit qualities that I would consider helpful and supportive of my life and the Whole, and others that are not.  It’s been my intention to heal the places in me that exhibit behaviors that are not.

My 24-year relationship with my Beloved has been a laboratory for this work as well; while everything starts at the Source, meaning inside us, the next level out is the intimate relationship we have.  Peter and I have been learning about Sacred Union with each other all of these years, but it has taken an interesting turn for the better since I initiated my quest for internal M/F balance.  His own process has been deeply impacted as well as our relationship.  This is the way it works in any system; when a change is introduced, the system must them adjust and re-balance to accommodate the change.

I am in the midst of (eyeball deep as a matter of fact) a writing project that was initiated by the art that came through me in May and June of this year.  These art pieces, while at first seemingly a pictorial history of the feminine and masculine energies, are now revealing a deeper story to me each day as I go to the studio.  They whisper of how the feminine and masculine energies originally emerged to play in this universe, how they moved apart to imbalance, and how to bring them back together in Sacred Union.  It has been shown to me why we must embody the feminine first in order to bring the masculine into balance.  I’m told that the amazing era that we are entering (albeit bumpily, with some turbulence), is an era of Balance, a return to the equal partnership of the feminine and masculine principles.  My summer has been devoted to recording what these pieces are telling me.

But, like everything else I do, this project is intimately tied with how I work with my inner process.  As I am recording this fantastic story, it is changing me.  My consciousness is expanding to include the new information, and as a result, my inner masculine and inner feminine are moving together; this movement is creating some interesting dynamics!  And none so interesting as the movement this summer.

And so I will be reporting in periodically about how it’s going with my “inner lovers”.   As I write for my Sacred Union project, I’ll be sharing some of my discoveries about what imbalanced masculine or feminine energy looks like, how they look when they are balanced, and how to bring them to that place within.  Because when we are balanced within, we bring more balance to the world, yes?

Archangel Gabriel by Amy Paloranta, www.goddessincognito.com

I asked my good friend and artist Amy Paloranta if  I might post her wonderful piece, “Archangel Gabriel”, because it illustrates so well what I am feeling right now.

I posted a discussion on FaceBook about how I feel as though I am “falling apart” in order to be re-assembled into something more wonderful…it is a felt sense of deconstruction in order for reconstruction to happen.  I have been through it many time in my life, and I’m sure this is not the last time!

I find these cycles of disorganization/reorganization to be cyclic, seasonal, organic and part of the flow of life.  I am reminded constantly how we are creatures of Nature, and therefore subject to all of the laws of balance that Nature operates within inherently.  And just like everything Nature, we are moving through process and becoming the next thing that we are to become!

The part that is a little tricky is that we are free will beings, so we can resist the natural prompts to let go and grow; we can cling hard to that piece of driftwood in the ocean because we think it’s the only thing keeping us alive, when there may be a luxury ocean liner just over the horizon (this image was given to my Beloved in a session with me 2 days ago).  In my experience, clinging to that outdated energy, whatever form it may take (relationship, occupation, geographical location, belief system, etc.) is a recipe for misery.  Eventually, balance wins.  My philosophy is to go ahead and cooperate with it!

Part of my path to cooperate with change when it is occurring is to listen very intently on the interior…with my inner ear.  What I mean by that is to feel where the stream of truth lies within me, my most authentic self, and lean into it, allowing the debris of the old me to fall away.  I experience a lot of assistance in the energy that we call  “Archangel Gabriel” as I work with this dynamic of “inner listening”.   I experience this angelic energy as one that supports inner hearing as well as expressing what is heard.

The FaceBook discussion has proven a fruitful one; many others have chimed in to say they are also experiencing this dynamic of deconstruction/reconstruction.  I would venture to say that we all are, but that some of us may be more aware of it than others.  I think what is important for ME to know is that this is all happening for the good of us…it is not some imposed horror from the outside, but a natural growth and evolutionary process of us becoming more of who we are.

My Journey through the July 11^th New Moon and Eclipse

Receiving, collage by Licia Berry, 2010

Sunday, July the 11^th is the new moon and total solar eclipse.  I hear from astrologer friends it is going to be a big one; this is confirmed by my invisible friends.  It is a new moon in Cancer, a water sign, involving family, relationships, feelings and the Sacred Feminine. 

For weeks preceding this event, I have been coming into wonderful alignment within, marveling at the information Consciousness is bringing through me for the book on Sacred Union and feeling great love for and connection with my husband after a time of challenge. It is blissful.

A couple of days before the event, I start to feel a little tension inside, a feeling of being a little less in the flow.  Fits and starts.

Sunday I ask for suggestions about how to work with the energy the most effectively, and am told to align with the energy of the eclipse, and do.  I feel the push to focus on what I want in my life, what new energy I want to bring in.  I do this.  I think about healing and love in my relationship with Peter, success and fulfillment in my work, joy with my children, healing and love for the waters and the world.   Ease and flow in my life.

We watch the world cup final and it is full of contention and conflict as one team plays dirty.  The other team, the better soccer players, win the tournament.  The octopus is right again.  Pete says 4 billion people are watching this game; it is amazing to be part of something that so many in the collective are involved in at the same time.  We bring thoughts of healing the gulf waters into this mix at this time.  I feel the beginning of a deep wave within me start to build momentum that night.

Monday, July the 12^th:  I awaken with a very sore jaw; I have been grinding my back teeth again, hard.  I feel odd, a little separate from my body.  I know this feeling; it is the feeling of something being “up” in my energy field.

I have immense release of grief and outdated energy dealing with feelings of unworthiness in the studio.  Very, very painful, racking sobs ripping from my heart, holding my head.  I am stunned by the depth of this wound, the message that I am bad, unworthy of love, a waste of space, a bother, etc.  This goes back too far for me to remember the origin of it, prior to age 2. I realize that all of my life I have been trying to prove that wrong while secretly believing it.  At times, it has felt like trying to hold back the tide with my finger in the dyke, and today I have to give in to the pain of this internalized feeling about myself.  It is what I have tried to hold myself above forever, the thing I would not let myself feel.

July 13^th:   I am very scattered in my energy, have trouble hearing intuitively when it is usually so easy.  Trying to do work is almost impossible.  I give up and ask what is going on, and am told that major energy movement has occurred in my system due to the release and that I am re-making myself.  The falling apart in order to be put back together in a new, improved way.  It feels like chaos.  I choose to be very easy on myself for the rest of the day.

July 14^th:  Awaken with sore jaw again, but feeling more “together”, as if the parts that were scattered about yesterday have come into a more seamless alignment.  I have profound awareness of and write about the imbalanced masculine within me and its efforts to prove wrong that I am unworthy through competitive behavior, seeking outer approval from the world, the pushing drive to be seen and be shown through physical evidence that I am loved. I see a tough little boy with his arms crossed and a defensive, protective scowl on his face. 

My inner masculine is so concerned about the outcome; he has a feeling of panic for his survival –All about the outer drive to succeed, to “make it”, to get the outcome, rather than the focus of being in the moment and revealing the message that is truth in my heart.  He is my internalized father, the one who pushes and forces, rather than acts in accordance with the feminine’s knowing.

I have made out-of-balance decisions from this place; this has led to things occurring that did not serve me in the end.  I have made some choices through this filter that had unpleasant consequences, such as pushing my divine timing.  I cry with grateful tears for this knowing, and wrap this wounded inner masculine up with Great Mothers arms within.  He needs love so much.  I rock him.  Hush, child…..heal, child.  Shhhhh.  In the feelings of being safe in the arms of the Sacred Feminine, my imbalanced inner masculine calms; he lets go of the need to prove himself as worthy.  Suddenly it doesn’t matter if I am successful, known, recognized, famous, fulfilling my purpose by reaching lots of people, etc.  I am overcome with feelings of love and connection.

As I drive to the studio, I have trouble focusing on the act of operating the car because I am having distinct sensations of being All That Is, the knowing of the truth of this, that I could say “Wake Up, Dreamer” and I, along with all of physical reality, would cease to exist. A feeling of death approaching, or the end of some existence….the threshold is close.  Looking back on my life as if it were a story or a dream, with fondness.  It is all okay.

July 15^th:  Another awareness of the pain in my life as a great teacher, including this year with a girlfriend that has triggered feelings of betrayal (this has happened over and over in my life).  Again as I am driving to the studio, I thank her out loud for being a teacher, for she has brought to my attention my core mother wound; she has been of service in this way.  I set the intention to heal my core mother wound from the inside out.  Perhaps she and I have helped each other with this mother stuff.  Interestingly, I am also guided to set intentions around receiving from the universe. 

Also very thankful for those who came into my life not bearing pain, but love and acceptance…I have learned and am learning much from them, as well.  I think I am moving towards learning in that way as much if not more than in the painful way. Maybe it doesn’t always have to be painful to learn.

I must be one powerful, big Being to have signed one for so many lessons in this life!  I’m smiling as I write this, feeling appreciation for myself and a sense of humor about it all.  I guess it’s true I like to learn.

I’m aware that the collective energy has been very intense these last weeks and days, but that every one has a different journey.  I do feel there is a common thread, though; I think it’s that we are being grown, being brought into more and more integrity with our true nature, being “pruned” of the things that aren’t in alignment with our authentic soul and expression.  If I allow this, open to it, flow with it, I find this kind of support to be a beautiful expression of how All Creation loves me with the tenderest of hearts.  It feels like coming Home.

She's Coming...collage by Licia Berry, 2010

When I made this piece last month (click on the image above to see larger), I was utterly fascinated by it.  Utilizing an old advertisement for “The 50 Ft. Woman” film, I cut carefully around this epic female and placed her in the remote and rocky landscape of the Four Corners area of the American southwest, one of my old stomping grounds.

What has surprised me is how captivated I still am.  When I look at this image, I feel excitement, expectancy, recognition.  I feel it in my body. 

I have walked the ground in this place.  I lived in the southwest for 10 out of my 45 years, enough to get a feel for the magic and history and intensity of this area of our country.  The openness of the skies feels like a direct connection to spirit; the color of the ground and rocks are like an artist’s canvas (have you ever seen pink and purple dirt before?); the quality of light in the dry air makes everything so clear.  There is nothing like it.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I live there for more of my remaining time on the planet; it gets in your blood and in your mind, and calls to you when you are away.

So when this immense woman wanted to be placed in this sacred location, I wasn’t too surprised; what HAS me rapt is the story that is unfolding in my consciousness through this image.

I’ve known for some time (eons?) that the Sacred Feminine enjoyed Her place in the sun on this earth thousands of years ago, then needed to go underground as human consciousness explored the imbalance of power of the immature masculine.  The whispering of this tale started as I began to have children; the keys in my own body began to unlock this ancient knowing as I felt Her awaken.  The awareness has continued to hit home in more conscious ways as I grow older and more trusting of my body and its messages to me.  

I have also learned in my shamanic and inner process work that the rocks of the earth are very much like the bones of the body; they hold memory in their dense structures.  The stone, whether it is on the surface or deep under the gaze of our eyes underground, retains the knowing of what has transpired here.  In indigenous knowing, the “rock people” are said to speak to those who will listen.  I’ve been listening to the rocks for some years now.  They speak slowly, and they are wise.  They are some of my most trusted elders.

This is what has been whispered to me: from the lore of old, a primeval tale begins to spin from the weaver’s web.  The ancient story goes: She of the earth, and the body and the feminine ways of knowing, She-the other half of existence- retreated to the far, remote places due to the imbalance that human consciousness explored.  It wasn’t safe to express Her; many, many lives were lost to drive home the point that She was not wanted any longer.  

And so, She became of the rocks and earth again, She backed away, retreating to the subconscious, a distant memory that has almost faded to nothingness.  And She waited.  Buried under the ground, buried in the depths of the black void of the earth, buried in the cells of our bodies and the collective mind.  Until there were enough of us to hold Her memory again, to bring Her back to life on this earth, to embody Her consciousness again and bring the earth into balance. 

I look at this image and I feel Her eyes open, the crust of sleep falling as pebbles from her eyelashes.  While the ravens caw and circle overhead, I feel Her stiff body disengage from the womb of earth that held Her tenderly and securely while She slept.  While the mountain lion gazes comfortably from its rocky perch, I feel Her stretch under the power of the enlivening sun, the kiss of Great Father, who blesses, welcomes and heralds Her return.  And I feel her intent as She strides across the vast desert floor, the weight of Her immense body shaking the very ground as She walks.  She has a date with the people of earth.

This image, born of my own subconscious, tells me that She is re-born out of memory, and into waking life.  She of the earth, the rocks, cradled while She went to sleep (out of necessity), has been awakened and has re-emerged in humanity’s consciousness.  And She’s coming.

Along the lines of self love and ceasing the habit of judging ourselves, I love what Joseph Bruchac writes in his wonderful book, Our Stories Remember. 

He speaks of a conversation with a friend who asks him if he is carrying around any guilt.  When Joe answered no, he didn’t think so, his friend said, “Brother, that’s good…One of my (Cheyenne) elders asked me once what you should do with a cup of water that is not good to drink.”  He then made the motion of pouring liquid from a cup out onto the ground.  

This is a great story and illustration of what to do with those old thoughts and feelings that are not helping us live our lives in a joyful way.  There comes a time when it is more supportive to let go of something than to hang on.  By pouring out the stagnant contents of your cup, you are then able to hold it out empty and fill it with something life affirming!

I was drawn to the Star card as I was thinking about pouring water on the ground and how that relates to the New Moon (which was on Monday) and the Spring Equinox (which is on Saturday).  Interestingly, I found references to all of the energy I am encountering right now:

“With Aquarius as its ruling sign, The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench the Querent’s thirst, with a guiding light to the future.” Source: http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/learn/meanings/star.shtml

And may I suggest, with Spring Equinox around the corner, that we dream and imagine and visualize the future that fills us with peace?

Continued from “How DO I Love Me? (Let Me Count the Ways), Parts 1 and 2 

A Self Love Ritual

If you’ve been looking for a way to create a new spark in your relationship with yourself, a love ritual might be just the idea for you! 

Try this exercise: light a candle in a quiet room where you won’t be interrupted.  Invite your highest aspects in to the ritual to assist you (whoever you feel they may be…use your words….highest teachers, masters, angels, Source, etc.) 

Read this passage excerpted from the bible, and while reading it, feel as if the words are written for you (they are).  Imagine you are reading this to yourself, who is sitting across the flame from you.  Feel the words go into your heart.

“Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.”
-I Corinthians 13:4-8

Can you allow yourself to feel this great love for you?  Are you open to the possibility that when these words were spoken by the master Jesus, that he was indeed speaking about loving yourself unconditionally? 

Notice the feelings that come up while you read this to your Beloved Self.  What beliefs do you hold about yourself that prevent you from experiencing this kind of love?  Write them down.  Then, in this ceremonial space, set the intention to release those beliefs.  Breathe deeply with each intention to seat it in your body.  You may even want to burn those pieces of paper with the old, outdated beliefs written on them.  Then, to replace those outdated beliefs, you can set intentions to:

*Love my self unconditionally

*Experience and embody the unconditional love that I truly am

*Allow the flow of unconditional love from Prime Source to flow through me and radiate outwards to all I come in contact with

*See myself as Angelic Consciousness and Prime Source see me, and Love myself as they love me

Close the Love Ritual by thanking your Beloved Self/Prime Source/ Angelic Consciousness/all of your helpers for guiding you.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

-Buddha

You are a miracle. You have within you incredible power and beauty. Your inner power and beauty give you the freedom to find success (however you define it), peace, love, self-confidence, and the joy of aliveness.  It is your birthright to experience life and its deepest satisfactions.

In making those choices every day to love ourselves as we would love our child or our tenderest lover, and taking action to do sweet things for ourselves, we literally change our reality.  We feel more at peace in the world, we attract more joyful opportunities and intersections, we draw more love into our lives, and life becomes the miracle it was intended to be (and it really is!)

“i found god in myself

& i loved her

i loved her fiercely.”

- Ntozake Shange

Continued from March 14th post

So how do we joyfully surrender to loving ourselves unconditionally?

The quickest path to self love that I know is to decide it.  What I mean by that is to consciously choose to love myself.  One of the intentions I speak every day is “I choose to love my self unconditionally, and I ask my angel team to help me do that.”  Then I follow up with choices that support that intention, such as being kind to myself in little ways, smiling into my eyes in the mirror, and laughing.  For example, when faced with a choice to watch a scary movie or a funny one, I ask myself “which is more loving to me in this moment?” and most often I choose the funny one.  I feel better after laughing than I do after jumping out of my skin!

I also take myself out on “dates”.  I insist on alone time because it helps to ground and center me (this can be challenging as a member of a family of four!)  And I have begun to “court” myself…..I wear things that make my body feel good or that make me feel sexy, like something soft or with a plunging neckline, maybe pick out some extra-fancy jewelry (instead of my usual practical kind) and then I look in the mirror and say ”Ooooh baby, you are looking good tonight!”  Just the other night I was in the hot tub with my husband and surprised myself totally by kissing myself on the shoulder.  Out of nowhere!  It was completely unconscious!  I guess those self-love messages are really getting through!  I crack myself up.

I have heard that Queen Latifah made a promise to herself that she would not marry anyone until she married herself first.  She had very positive and strong female role models when she was growing up and therefore had the reflection of loving eyes and sweet encouragement.  She knows she is precious.  She loves herself so much that she bought herself a wedding ring and put it on her right ring finger, a symbol of how she chose to wed herself before wedding any other.  WOW.  Unapologetic, passionate, fierce devotion to self.  Can’t mess with that!

When you think about it, on this earth we are all we’ve got. Yes, for a time we may have a beloved in a relationship, or children to dote on, or friends to laugh with, but we know that things change and that we are left with our own precious self in the end.  Therefore, speaking practically, it is a good investment to start loving yourself NOW!

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

-Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900

What does Self-Love mean?

Does it mean you get to eat ice cream every night just because you want it?  Well, sure, as long as you love the possible consequences of that choice!  Sometimes the choices we make are out of a place of NOT loving ourselves.  Are you making choices out of self love or self loathing?

Just as a lack of self-love has a vibration, so does unconditional self-love. It has a quiet, steady radiance which draws others to its light.  I define self-love as a deeper, quieter love; that you hold yourself in the way you would hold a baby or your sweetest lover…so tenderly.  And this is because you realize that you truly are a Child of the Universe, and the Lover of the Sacred.

And we aren’t talking halfway here!  Unconditional love is true love, love without limitations, conditions, or reservations.  This means loving ALL aspects of yourself, not just the ones that are “nice”, or more “spiritual”, or “attractive”.  You learn to love every aspect of yourself, even the ones you might think of as “negative”.  The universe is full of the balance of positive/negative, dark/light, up/down, hot/cold…..it is the nature of things to have balance, and all things that exist are here for a reason, including all of the aspects of YOU.  Any unloved aspects of the self will cry out for love in ways that can keep you bound to the inner and outer drama.

But if we aren’t taught to love ourselves, how do we begin to turn the tide and feel genuine caring for all parts of ourselves?  Self-love doesn’t happen by luck or the grace of God. You have to choose to create it. Some things that I choose to remember are:

* Knowing that I am more than my physical body…I am very clear that I am an infinite being who chose to come here for the fabulous experience of playing and creating in physical reality.  I love my physical existence and the opportunity to be here in this life.

* Knowing I am a powerful co-creator.  I have the power to choose, and this power is both the greatest responsibility I have and the greatest opportunity.

* Knowing that I am always in process and always becoming.  I honor where I am in my process without judgment.

* Knowing that my feelings are powerful indicators of what I am creating, and therefore valuable information.  I treasure my feelings and I respond to them with reverence.   They are indeed part of my inner guidance system.  I honor my feelings and act from them, even if it means setting a limit with someone or saying “no”.

 Part 3 tomorrow…A SELF-LOVE Ritual

A journal entry from 10-30-09

The little boy I picked up in the labyrinth (http://liciaberry.com/blog/2009/11/10/the-boy-in-the-labyrinth/) is beginning to stir now…he has more life in him, whereas he did not seem to inhabit his body very much before.  I feel he is a personification of my power.  I am healing my power as well as exploring what authentic power looks like for myself.  As I do this, I predict I will see this little boy grow into an actualized man.  And that I will feel comfortable and confident in the world, a genuine soul expressing their authentic power, informed by the Sacred Feminine in her power.

In recent weeks, I have felt such outrage and despair about the plight of women and children who are preyed upon by those who would use their power to dominate them.  So many stories of rape and murder; it is so heinous to me.  I was worried about myself because some modern “spiritual” folk say that anger is a bad thing to feel and it “takes your vibe down”.  I find myself wanting to fight them, which of course means I am fighting a part of myself that wants to gloss over the feelings and pretend everything is okay.  I also don’t want to be one dimensional, the angry feminist who drives folks away by her intensity and ire.

But I chose to trust my body and emotions as a message to me that there was something wrong, and I let it take me down a path.  Trusting, trusting.  As I allowed my anger and expressed it in my writing and conversations, it took me to a new place. 

I saw a purple matrix on a field of black, or a Great Web, and heard “Mending the Web”, over and over, for days and now weeks.  I saw that it would be fairly simple to continue down the angry path, let it fuel itself continuously, and break the web by posting and publishing angry thoughts. 

But then I saw that it is “women’s work” to heal, to mend the breaks in the web that out-of-balance folks cut.  I understood that my original desire in the world was to heal, and that has been the case until I got angrier and harder in my heart, wanting to be acknowledged for being right and for being victimized.  It is such a tricky thing to stay on that tightrope of balanced, righteous anger that needs to be felt and expressed, or falling over into letting it consume you, become who you are.  Letting ourselves be human when we have studied spirituality can be a tricky game to play with ourselves.

As I continued with some trepidation down this path into greater room and understanding, I also saw that women who are empowered (and me) are strong enough to be the big ones, the ones who will take the first step and reach out our hands to do the mending.  Just as many wise and respected feminists have said, it is the women who must lead the coming awareness and shift in consciousness to balance.  Quietly, perhaps in some ways…..but that it is up to us to start the healing of this world. 

Spider Woman, by Susan Seddon Boulet

Then, I saw and heard “healing the masculine”.  Ah, is it not enough to heal ourselves as women, and the damage done to us at the hands of the outrageously immature masculine without (and our internalized fathers and immature masculine within)?  Perhaps we may be called to turn and heal those who have trespassed against us. 

Well, I don’t know how this will work…I sure don’t want to get in a conversation with my father and attempt to “heal” him.  I already know he doesn’t want to do that in ways that I consider healthy for him.  But, maybe by healing my own inner masculine, helping my inner masculine to grow up in a healthy balanced way, with a mature inner feminine to help him, there may be hope.

Family constellation work has shown me that there is no such thing as space and time…that healing can occur for all involved when all the factors are present.  Perhaps if I heal and mature my own inner masculine, my father in some way is released from his own pain, and healing can happen for him (and others).

But first, I must peel back the face I have placed on him, the veneer of goodness, the stories of heroism that I have projected onto him, and believed.  I must see what is underneath.  Better get out the drills, hammers and chisels.  It’s time for the idealized father to die.

So much work I have done to awaken the Sacred Feminine within me.  So much attention have I given to embodying Her, to BEING Her in this world that has been so out of kilter for thousands of years.  And that has all been right because it has brought me home to a large part of myself that is strong, deep, profound in its desire to heal and mother this world.

And in the last few months, another voice has been respectfully poking its head into my consciousness.  It feels pointed, focused, exacting, harder than the quality of energy I experience with Great Mother or the Sacred Feminine.  It is absent entirely unless I give it permission to enter my space, and then it comes in with a full force of presence, taking up room.  To my great surprise, I am told it is the voice of Great Father.

Well, it is true that I have on obsession with balance.  I know that my soul has a sense of humor because that is my maiden name.  Balance is the closest thing to a religion I could say I have.  Balance is the way of the universe, the way of nature, the way of the middle road.  I respect and want to emulate balance very much, because I believe that is the natural way that things are, and I want to be as close to that as I possibly can.

Masculine/feminine balance is also part of that duality that we see played out in physical form.  Notice I did not say men and women, but masculine and feminine, qualities of energy that play at opposite ends of a spectrum, holding the space for physicality to occur through the magnetic polarity of opposites.  This is how all physical matter is able to be in existence.

So it would make some sense that my focus on the Sacred Feminine would be so successful…that I would feel Her, embody Her, teach others how to awaken that pathway within themselves…and that would lead me to Him, the Divine Masculine.  From the strength of Her, I will come to know Him.

More to come about my resistance to the masculine, the work I am doing to remove the veneer of my internalized father from the face of the Great Father, and the success I have had recently in my new relationship with Him.