Wingapo Cheskchamay (“Welcome, All Friends” in Powhatan language)

I share this excerpt from my book with you now because I have lately struck a chord in some of my posts….there are others besides me who do not feel that they fit in, and are looking for their tribe.

Being “lost” is a kind of dramatic tale to weave…..it appeals to many. There are certainly lots of stories in history of “lost tribes” and their tragic search to come home.

I am a prime example of this in a genealogical sense….I see no separation between what lives in my blood, what lives in my mind, and what lives in my heart…..the greatness of my spirit holds all aspects of myself within its hands.

However, I choose that my having been “lost” has brought me many gifts and learnings, and that in the end, I have not been “lost” at all.

An excerpt from “The Blue Eyed Indian”
By Licia Berry www.liciaberry.com
Copyright 2008

Outer Banks of North Carolina

“My European ancestors were among the first to arrive at the remote barrier islands of what is now called North Carolina’s Outer Banks. In the 1500’s, the islands were alive with the Croatoan Indian hunters and fisherman who scoured the maritime forests and the rich waters for bountiful fish and game. When the fair-skinned people with the blue eyes arrived from the giant crafts on the water, my Indian ancestors were intrigued, and being polite, welcomed the visitors to their island. They feasted together, they showed the guests their lovely island (like we would for any tourist to our home town), and eventually, some of them fell in love.

Some of the fair skinned people feathered into life with the Indians; others went north to create the English settlement of Roanoke Island. This settlement later became “The Lost Colony”, when, fearing they had been abandoned by the English and needing help to survive, they returned south to live with the friendly Croatoan Indians in what is now Buxton, NC. These are the people I come from.

When the next larger waves of Europeans would arrive to the New World a generation or two later, they wrote with their quill pens in their journals of the peculiar “Blue Eyed Indians” they encountered along the North Carolina coast.

As more Europeans arrived, the goodness of the land on the Outer Banks was coveted for its rich resources and its location as a close ally to the ports in Virginia. The Indians began to feel the conflict that these fair skinned people brought into their midst. Skirmishes broke out, and eventually, the fair skinned people overtook the islands that had been occupied by Indians for 10,000 years.

Outer Banks Indians fishing on Pamlico Sound

The blue-eyeds among the Indians had a choice to make; were they white, or Indian? They would lose their lands on the island if they sided with their red-skinned kin….Would they survive if they sided with their European blood? For some, the call to explore the blood of their parents or grandparents, those who had come from far across the waters, brought a certain sense of longing, and they stayed with the whites. A few elected to go with the tribes, who retreated inland to nurse their wounds and to make plans about how to carry on. Some went north to now Virginia to be absorbed into the great Powhatan nation; others remained in the woods and wetlands of inland coast and eventually disappeared into the trees with their culture. The Croatoan had lost their best fishing grounds, lost many of their children and suffered humiliation after opening their arms and hearts to these fair-skinned people. But those who were part Indian, those who elected to stay with the Europeans, lost the precious knowledge and support of their Indian culture.

Generations of Europeans came to the Outer Banks and settled on this wild coast, making their living fishing those waters once enjoyed by the Powhatan, and scavenging off of the hundreds of ships that floundered on the Diamond Shoals, earning the nickname “The Graveyard of the Atlantic”. My father’s side of the family still remains on this remote outpost, miles off the mainland of our country. They speak in a soft brogue that reminds of me of Scotland, England and a faint tongue that is lost, the language extinct except for a few words. They are stoic and stubborn, refusing to leave the island when hurricanes bear down on the fragile sands. They also don’t like to admit that they are part Indian.

In fact, I didn’t know that we had any Indian blood until I was in my thirties, when a rebellious aunt whispered to me of our history. I have observed a bigotry and arrogance in some of these noble Hatteras people, as if they are better than every one else, perhaps because of what they have survived as they eke out their livings in this harsh place. I have never understood this stubborn need to protect our “heritage” as all-European (or, all white as they would say). Perhaps when they were forced to make the decision to be “white” in order to keep their homes and land on Hatteras Island, a psychic door closed on any other possibility.

But I was different.

All of my life the spirits of the wind, the water, the rocks and trees and earth have spoken to me. As a child, I was a wild nature girl; tangled hair and dirty face were my costume….I fought taking baths and showers, preferring to remain sister to the dirt. In frustration and in answer to my defiant nature, my mother chopped all my hair off at age 6. I tried to get lost in the woods and never could, because I knew the way home. The animals were my guides and messengers. The forest whispered of its love for me. The universe supported me, and Nature was my friend.

Yet, I was so different than the family who surrounded me. I didn’t fit; when I spoke of the subtle energy that I tapped into, I was ignored or strongly corrected. I wasn’t hearing and sensing and seeing those things; I was making things up. I got quieter about my feelings, but they never went away. Under the protection of the dense brush and out of sight of my elders, I performed ceremonies to honor dead birds or lizards that I found, to listen to and guide the ghosts that needed help to find their way home, to dance with all of creation as my cohort in life. No one had taught me these things; I just knew how to do them. And then came my initiation into the shamanic world….”

To be continued….

A Blue Eyed Indian

If you have followed our story at all, you know that we listen to our inner guidance to determine where we are going and where to stay, etc.  This was a skill that we developed as a family during our last Big Trip that served us very well.  As a result of asking for input from the larger picture, God/Spirit/All of Creation, we have had the most magical adventures and met the most marvelous people. 

To navigate through the Los Angeles area, we were guided to stay “north and west” of L.A.  When I looked at the map, I asked about the places I saw there and got a “Yes” on Van Nuys area.…typically, I take the guidance I am given and search online or through other resources for RV parks in that area.  I found two, but one I got a clear “NO” on, and the other was just “Okay”.  We could find no other ideal RV park in the area, so we wound up at Walnut RV Park, where we are squished in like sardines, but it is very quiet and safe, and convenient to lots of amenities.

Jude and Scout, our travel vehicles, and the Lovely Tree

Our trip to the Getty Center was easy and wonderful…we got there early on Saturday and spent four hours enjoying the art, the architecture and the amazing space created there.  I found myself taking photos (which is allowed there, by the way!) of Madonna and Holy Family art…hmmmm, wonder why that is?   Of particular interest to me is a piece in which Mary is breastfeeding Jesus.

“The Madonna and Child with a Male Saint, Catherine of Alexandria, and a Donor” about 1496, by Michelangelo di Pietro Membrin, tempera on panel

It is such a phenomenal gift to the world that this resource is being made available to the public, and free of charge.  Thank you, Getty Family!

My visit with Joan Norton was delightful…I am a little wary about the social network craze, having been burned pretty badly on FaceBook.  It is easy to think you know someone when you are only interfacing with the persona they present online…but it can be a very different story when you get under the surface of the mask.  Joan is one of those genuine gems that came across my path while I explored social media this last summer.  She is intelligent, insightful, and heartfelt in her understanding and communication about Mary Magdalene’s story, and the blessed union of the masculine and feminine.  I highly recommend her blog, Mary Magdalene Within.

As we neared our third day in the L.A. area, I noticed that my sweet Pete seemed tired and a little cranky….He is mostly a pretty energetic person, and hardly ever is he a grump, so this was unusual.  When I asked him what was going on for him, he said he thought his sensitivity to density had increased so much it was really getting to him to be in the population center that L.A. is.  It was literally sucking him dry, draining his batteries to be there.  This was interesting to me, as I have struggled with this problem for years, but have found some way to center and balance now so that I am not so affected by population density.  I actually remarked on how good I felt considering how much energy we were in the midst of.  The kids seemed pretty balanced, too.  We did all remark, though, that it did not feel like the right place for us to live.     

On our last night there, the kids practically kicked us out the RV door for another date night.  We are very blessed with children who truly value that Pete and I actively love each other and spend time working on our relationship.  The kids know that daddy and mommy time is super vital to the health of our family, so they understand and even encourage us to take time out for us.  Plus, that means they get to play their video games without interruption!  So Pete and I went out to a great little sushi place that was literally around the corner.

We sat at the sushi bar, our favorite place to enjoy the sushi experience, where I sat next to a perfectly pleasant fellow who was there on business.  As we got to chatting with him, he shared that he travels the world, teaching about how to do day trading on one’s own.  This sounded lovely and exiting…what a great career, empowering people to take their financial destiny into their own hands!  But as we talked, I felt the presence of something tightly wound in him, something that felt repressed, as if the surface did not match his insides.  I found out later that, as I left for the ladies’ room, Pete learned from this man that he used to be married.  From what he told Pete, he and his wife came to a place that she requested that he choose between his career and her due to his long periods of travel.  He told Pete that he loved his career more than his wife, and they are no longer married. 

This made me feel sad and also caused me to remember back in 2003 when we left Asheville for our first Big Trip….I couldn’t understand why so many of my then-women-friends seemed to be so mad at me, and did not say in touch with me when we left.  I did not find out until months later, when one of them shared reluctantly with me, that they were jealous that “your man chose you over his career”.  You might remember that Pete left his promising career with Toshiba in order to go on the road and do the work of reclaiming us, his family. Back then, I was stunned that a beloved partner would NOT choose his partner over his career, if for some reason it came down to that in their lives.  Apparently, I am one blessed woman to have a partner who values me and our love partnership over anything else in his life.

We left Los Angeles on Monday, November 3^rd and headed north to San Luis Obispo.  It was there, a mere five weeks into the journey, that we got the biggest surprise of our trip thus far…. 

 Partnership-a cooperative relationship between people or groups who agree to share responsibility for achieving some specific goal. 

Syn. alliance, collaboration, companionship, relationship

 Ah, yes….this is what we are striving for in our family. 

We used to fit more under the usual model of family-raising, which can range from dictatorship to benevolent neglect, with lots of stops in between. Parenting is a hot issue, one that many disagree on and seem to feel it is their God-Given right to do as they please with their children.  Who am I to say that is not true?  But we are led to parent differently.

Years before I ever had children, I truly wasn’t sure I wanted to have any.  My family upbringing did not inspire much confidence in furthering my genes in the world, but more than that, I felt like “damaged goods” due to childhood abuses, and I truly did not want to pass that illness on to anyone else.  When Peter and I met, our mutual love and respect for one another began a healing process….within two years of being with him, I was ready to acknowledge (and tackle) my unhealed wounds reclaim my joy for life.  But what I was interested to note was that my primary drive to endure years of therapy and excruciating emotional pain was to be a conscious mother to my someday children.  I would not have children until 7 years after Peter and I met.

Our goal when Jess first arrived into our lives one magical full moon night was that we would do no harm to our children.  As a teacher, I had seen first hand (and still believe) that children are not an empty vessel that it is our sacred duty to fill up, or “wild animals” that we must tame….on the contrary, children come with much insight and knowing that, if we will but listen, benefits us as adults greatly.  There in that tiny baby is personality, there are innate preferences, there is soul.  When I gazed into infant Jess’ eyes, there was no question that there was a very old and wise Being looking lovingly back at me.  But does that mean that we do nothing and worship at the feet of our children, never saying the word “no” and never giving them boundaries?  I feel that is as out of balance as the “empty vessel” scenario. 

 I have observed that it is a partnership between those adult custodians of the physical world and the children who come into it.  It is our sacred task to inform and guide them about navigating through the physical world they have newly come into, without instilling to much fear or limiting beliefs, but being realistic with them, too about life in the 3^rd dimension.  Their part of the partnership is to remind us of the Source we came from, to inspire us to re-connect with our joy and playful nature, and to bring the wisdom of grace into our lives, if we will but let it in. 

 As our children have gotten older, we have evolved quite a bit as a family.  Where I felt very protective as a mother of young children, I now have teen and pre-teen boys, who are making their bold foray into independence and making many decisions on their own.  I feel led to honor this transition by stepping back, giving them room. 

Jess and Aidan at San Juan Capistrano CA 10-29-08

Jess is now almost 15, and he is technically a man.  When I look at him, I marvel that I ever held him in my arms as an almost 10 pound baby!  Peter and I are around for him to assist with decisions that he feels he needs help on, and we do step in if we see him making a choice that could be harmful….but he has an internal sense of structure and balance that seems to guide him.        

Aidan is 11, and a very special and sensitive soul…..he is so empathic and feels the world acutely, the unspoken feelings of others come through him like he is a TV channel.  The physical world has been a confusing and tough place for him at times.  He is still needing more guidance, and he has not yet found his internal sense of balance.  In the stead of an internal one, we must try to provide an outer structure to help him until he finds his internal core of balance. 

My goal as a parent to stay acutely aware of where our kids are and what they need in a given moment, and to provide it in the most loving way I can.  But just as important, we feel that the boys have much wisdom to offer us as partners in our family.

Some may feel that using a partnership model to describe a family dynamic is a little strange….well, it certainly is different than what most folks do in their families!  Honoring and respecting all parties in the family as one would in a business partnership, for example, is a bit of a new concept.  But it is what works for us. 

Going back to the definition of partnership, I see that it implies there is a “specific goal” or intention in the partnership, the purpose of getting together in the first place.  Well, I am one who feels that there is a much larger picture going one, that it is no accident that these two marvelous beings came to me and Peter.  Do we choose our parents from on high?  Aidan told me when he was three that he remembered choosing me because of my smile.  When I was pregnant with Jess, I dreamed about him as he is now, conversing with me about his name.  I am one who knows there is much more to life than what we see here in the physical world, and if my life experience shows me anything, these children who come in now-adays have got a goal in mind.

Perhaps it is in raising consciousness or maybe even saving the human race from extinction….I can’t say for sure.  But I do know that Creation does not make mistakes….if I want to do my part in honoring and respecting All of Creation, I’d be wise to honor and respect my children, and the part of Creation they represent.  I’d be wise to look with fresh eyes at them every day, seeing what they are offering to me and to the world, and not try to cram them into a pre-conceived box labeled “Who I want my kids to be”. 

I take parenting very seriously…..obviously, I think about it a lot.  Partly informed by the parenting I encountered in my birth family, but even more by what feels like a Soul-charge, like what I came here to do.  I can think of nothing more holy than that I offer these precious ones up to the world after having done the best I could do as their mother. 

What I am noticing as we travel for our second journey in our family saga is that these amazing people who happen to be my children are standing up and taking their roles as partners the more we allow them to do so, by making room in our decision making and by accepting them for who they are.  It is a marvelous gift to be taught by them, and to feel them growing into such wonderful men and partners in humankind.

The boys enjoyed the Big Tank…Peter is a huge fishing enthusiast and lamented being unable to catch some of the prize redfish on display:

Da Berry Boys posing in front of the Big Tank

We were guided to leave Corpus on Wednesday, October 16^th…so we pretty much had the RV ready by then.  As we left, we gassed up at the local Valero, and were shocked to see that gas prices had dropped to $2.32 a gallon!  We took a picture because we know we won’t likely see that price again!

The 16^th we headed up to San Antonio….again, we were guided to go there.  We thought we were going so that we could have the car serviced (40,000 miles in 16 months!)  But it turned out there was something more special in store!

At close to time to make supper, I received a call from a man who said he had seen our website and that his family was planning a cross-country trip to see National Parks.  He had received our web address from a woman who had met us 4 years ago, when we were on our first big trip and were stationed at Padre Island National Seashore as volunteers.  She remembered us and passed our contact info on to him as a resource for his own family’s trip.  Usually a procrastinator by his own admission, he called on this night to ask some questions.  He said he had seen we were in Texas to get the RV, and wondered if we were still in the state.  I told him we had just left Corpus Christ, but we were staying in San Antonio until the following morning, when we would be heading west.  He paused for just a moment before he said, “I live in San Antonio!” 

This is exactly the kind of thing that used to happen to us all the time on our previous journey…the magic of synchronicities became so common place that we expected them.  It was so fun to feel the “magic window” open up again for this kind of happening!  He suggested our families meet for dinner at a famous burger joint in town…we did, and we spent hours talking and answering their questions.  They are very special people and I want to pass their website on to you to see what they are up to.  Their current plan is to disembark in December.  We can’t wait to meet up with them on the road somewhere out there!

We left San Antonio on Friday, October 17^th and headed west on highway 90; we slept at Alpine, Texas at the Lost Alaskan RV park, where Susan in the office was an absolute hoot (the park was great, too, except that the pool was closed down for the year).  As we drove away from Alpine the following morning, I had the sense that we wouldn’t be seeing Texas (or, Tejas in Spanish) again for a long time.  The sweet rolling hills and live oak trees are so very beautiful there.

Thank you, Tejas, for the memories!

So next…..a night in Deming, New Mexico on our way to Tucson AZ.  We will be in Tucson for the week of October 19-25.  More soon!

When we arrived down in the Corpus Christi area to fetch the RV on October 5th, it was a balmy 90 degrees and the soft, moist air billowed our sails after a LONG drive down from Colorado.  After waking up to 30 degree mornings back home, the warmth was a welcome change.  Felt like vacation all over again!  We found out later it snowed the day after we left.  Hee hee, good timing, Universe!

We promptly scurried around, getting the RV back into live-in condition and doing the inevitable shopping to re-outfit us.  We fell into an easy pattern within 3 days….we know this routine so well after traveling together for those 2 years!  We parked (I just cannot, in good conscience, use the word “camped”) at a GREAT place in Portland, Texas, right on the bay across from downtown Corpus Christi, called Sea Breeze.  The water was lovely, the fishing was good, the skyline lights at night were jewel-like.  It was a perfect spot to regroup after leaving Colorado and to prepare for our sojourn. I was asked by my dear friend Elizabeth Barbour what it was like being back in the RV again, and I was happily surprised to hear myself say that it was a breeze.

For those of you who have not gone RVing for any length of time, there is an entire lifestyle and culture that goes along with it.  I was reminded as we did our laundry at the recreation building and was chatting with other RVers how much I enjoy the core devotion to freedom that Rvers seem to embody.  It is an unspoken, but highly respected value that we hold dear.  I imagine this is true for anyone who seems to have travel in their blood!

We went to Padre Island a couple of times to play in the gulf….the water was clear and gorgeous…however the beach was covered in trash washed ashore from Hurricane Ike, which hit north of Corpus Christi at Galveston.  I found a computer, a toy chest, electric outlets, shoes, and plastic, plastic, plastic.  It made me renew my commitment to buy as little plastic as possible….there was no end of the horrid stuff littering the beaches for miles.  It was an odd feeling to see these pieces of people’s homes tossed so indiscriminately and deposited on this wild stretch of beach.

For educational supplementation, I took the boys to see the replica of Columbus’ ship, Nina, which sits on the Corpus Christi Bay waterfront in downtown.

 More in Part 2……..

Greetings!

Those of you who have followed our story since we left our “normal” lives in Asheville, NC in 2003 know that we took an epic 2-year journey in order to re-grow the connections in our family; it resulted in phenomenal restoration of our love for each other, intense emotional, mental and spiritual growth, and attention from around the world via our family website, www.berrytrip.us.  Our story was even published by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen in their book, Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction (not the title when we submitted the story!)

Berrys at the Beach, 2008-Cape San Blas, Florida

Since our trip ended in 2005, we have been living in a lovely remote area of southern Colorado, high in the Rockies…it was a perfect place to land after being mobile for such a long time.  We needed the boundless quiet, the profound, jaw-dropping beauty of Nature, and a really, really small town to start to make our way back into civilization.  We thought we would be there for several years, but we quickly outgrew it!

View from our front porch in Colorado, March 2006

When we all started to experience boredom and restlessness, we knew that we needed a change.  At first we thought we would relocate somewhere new, like a bigger city, or a different landscape.  We considered Florida and Texas due to the proximity to the Gulf of Mexico (one of our favorite playgrounds)….but the more we got still to listen to our deep inner voices, the more we started understanding that it wasn’t time to move into a new place…..it was time to MOVE.

And so, we begin Chapter Two of the Berry journey….we left our 40-acre serene Colorado homestead on the market and have taken off for parts unknown…

We begin in Corpus Christi, Texas where we left the RV (whose name is Jude….the Wandering Jude, get it?)  We will travel westward, listening to our inner guidance each day for direction and feeling our way around until……well, until we stop!

Join us here for our thoughts as we travel, artistic and thoughtful contributions by the boys, and my observations as a Mother whose soul longs to offer the best children to this world that I can.

Welcome!

Xoxoxo

licia