Posts Tagged ‘spirituality’
She’s Coming
When I made this piece last month (click on the image above to see larger), I was utterly fascinated by it. Utilizing an old advertisement for “The 50 Ft. Woman” film, I cut carefully around this epic female and placed her in the remote and rocky landscape of the Four Corners area of the American southwest, one of my old stomping grounds.
What has surprised me is how captivated I still am. When I look at this image, I feel excitement, expectancy, recognition. I feel it in my body.
I have walked the ground in this place. I lived in the southwest for 10 out of my 45 years, enough to get a feel for the magic and history and intensity of this area of our country. The openness of the skies feels like a direct connection to spirit; the color of the ground and rocks are like an artist’s canvas (have you ever seen pink and purple dirt before?); the quality of light in the dry air makes everything so clear. There is nothing like it. I wouldn’t be surprised if I live there for more of my remaining time on the planet; it gets in your blood and in your mind, and calls to you when you are away.
So when this immense woman wanted to be placed in this sacred location, I wasn’t too surprised; what HAS me rapt is the story that is unfolding in my consciousness through this image.
I’ve known for some time (eons?) that the Sacred Feminine enjoyed Her place in the sun on this earth thousands of years ago, then needed to go underground as human consciousness explored the imbalance of power of the immature masculine. The whispering of this tale started as I began to have children; the keys in my own body began to unlock this ancient knowing as I felt Her awaken. The awareness has continued to hit home in more conscious ways as I grow older and more trusting of my body and its messages to me.
I have also learned in my shamanic and inner process work that the rocks of the earth are very much like the bones of the body; they hold memory in their dense structures. The stone, whether it is on the surface or deep under the gaze of our eyes underground, retains the knowing of what has transpired here. In indigenous knowing, the “rock people” are said to speak to those who will listen. I’ve been listening to the rocks for some years now. They speak slowly, and they are wise. They are some of my most trusted elders.
This is what has been whispered to me: from the lore of old, a primeval tale begins to spin from the weaver’s web. The ancient story goes: She of the earth, and the body and the feminine ways of knowing, She-the other half of existence- retreated to the far, remote places due to the imbalance that human consciousness explored. It wasn’t safe to express Her; many, many lives were lost to drive home the point that She was not wanted any longer.
And so, She became of the rocks and earth again, She backed away, retreating to the subconscious, a distant memory that has almost faded to nothingness. And She waited. Buried under the ground, buried in the depths of the black void of the earth, buried in the cells of our bodies and the collective mind. Until there were enough of us to hold Her memory again, to bring Her back to life on this earth, to embody Her consciousness again and bring the earth into balance.
I look at this image and I feel Her eyes open, the crust of sleep falling as pebbles from her eyelashes. While the ravens caw and circle overhead, I feel Her stiff body disengage from the womb of earth that held Her tenderly and securely while She slept. While the mountain lion gazes comfortably from its rocky perch, I feel Her stretch under the power of the enlivening sun, the kiss of Great Father, who blesses, welcomes and heralds Her return. And I feel her intent as She strides across the vast desert floor, the weight of Her immense body shaking the very ground as She walks. She has a date with the people of earth.
This image, born of my own subconscious, tells me that She is re-born out of memory, and into waking life. She of the earth, the rocks, cradled while She went to sleep (out of necessity), has been awakened and has re-emerged in humanity’s consciousness. And She’s coming.
How Do I Love Me? Part 3…A Self Love Ritual
Continued from “How DO I Love Me? (Let Me Count the Ways), Parts 1 and 2
A Self Love Ritual
If you’ve been looking for a way to create a new spark in your relationship with yourself, a love ritual might be just the idea for you!
Try this exercise: light a candle in a quiet room where you won’t be interrupted. Invite your highest aspects in to the ritual to assist you (whoever you feel they may be…use your words….highest teachers, masters, angels, Source, etc.)
Read this passage excerpted from the bible, and while reading it, feel as if the words are written for you (they are). Imagine you are reading this to yourself, who is sitting across the flame from you. Feel the words go into your heart.
“Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.”
-I Corinthians 13:4-8
Can you allow yourself to feel this great love for you? Are you open to the possibility that when these words were spoken by the master Jesus, that he was indeed speaking about loving yourself unconditionally?
Notice the feelings that come up while you read this to your Beloved Self. What beliefs do you hold about yourself that prevent you from experiencing this kind of love? Write them down. Then, in this ceremonial space, set the intention to release those beliefs. Breathe deeply with each intention to seat it in your body. You may even want to burn those pieces of paper with the old, outdated beliefs written on them. Then, to replace those outdated beliefs, you can set intentions to:
*Love my self unconditionally
*Experience and embody the unconditional love that I truly am
*Allow the flow of unconditional love from Prime Source to flow through me and radiate outwards to all I come in contact with
*See myself as Angelic Consciousness and Prime Source see me, and Love myself as they love me
Close the Love Ritual by thanking your Beloved Self/Prime Source/ Angelic Consciousness/all of your helpers for guiding you.
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
-Buddha
You are a miracle. You have within you incredible power and beauty. Your inner power and beauty give you the freedom to find success (however you define it), peace, love, self-confidence, and the joy of aliveness. It is your birthright to experience life and its deepest satisfactions.
In making those choices every day to love ourselves as we would love our child or our tenderest lover, and taking action to do sweet things for ourselves, we literally change our reality. We feel more at peace in the world, we attract more joyful opportunities and intersections, we draw more love into our lives, and life becomes the miracle it was intended to be (and it really is!)
“i found god in myself
& i loved her
i loved her fiercely.”
- Ntozake Shange
How Do I Love Me? Part 2-Romancing the Self
Continued from March 14th post
So how do we joyfully surrender to loving ourselves unconditionally?
The quickest path to self love that I know is to decide it. What I mean by that is to consciously choose to love myself. One of the intentions I speak every day is “I choose to love my self unconditionally, and I ask my angel team to help me do that.” Then I follow up with choices that support that intention, such as being kind to myself in little ways, smiling into my eyes in the mirror, and laughing. For example, when faced with a choice to watch a scary movie or a funny one, I ask myself “which is more loving to me in this moment?” and most often I choose the funny one. I feel better after laughing than I do after jumping out of my skin!
I also take myself out on “dates”. I insist on alone time because it helps to ground and center me (this can be challenging as a member of a family of four!) And I have begun to “court” myself…..I wear things that make my body feel good or that make me feel sexy, like something soft or with a plunging neckline, maybe pick out some extra-fancy jewelry (instead of my usual practical kind) and then I look in the mirror and say ”Ooooh baby, you are looking good tonight!” Just the other night I was in the hot tub with my husband and surprised myself totally by kissing myself on the shoulder. Out of nowhere! It was completely unconscious! I guess those self-love messages are really getting through! I crack myself up.
I have heard that Queen Latifah made a promise to herself that she would not marry anyone until she married herself first. She had very positive and strong female role models when she was growing up and therefore had the reflection of loving eyes and sweet encouragement. She knows she is precious. She loves herself so much that she bought herself a wedding ring and put it on her right ring finger, a symbol of how she chose to wed herself before wedding any other. WOW. Unapologetic, passionate, fierce devotion to self. Can’t mess with that!
When you think about it, on this earth we are all we’ve got. Yes, for a time we may have a beloved in a relationship, or children to dote on, or friends to laugh with, but we know that things change and that we are left with our own precious self in the end. Therefore, speaking practically, it is a good investment to start loving yourself NOW!
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
-Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900
What does Self-Love mean?
Does it mean you get to eat ice cream every night just because you want it? Well, sure, as long as you love the possible consequences of that choice! Sometimes the choices we make are out of a place of NOT loving ourselves. Are you making choices out of self love or self loathing?
Just as a lack of self-love has a vibration, so does unconditional self-love. It has a quiet, steady radiance which draws others to its light. I define self-love as a deeper, quieter love; that you hold yourself in the way you would hold a baby or your sweetest lover…so tenderly. And this is because you realize that you truly are a Child of the Universe, and the Lover of the Sacred.
And we aren’t talking halfway here! Unconditional love is true love, love without limitations, conditions, or reservations. This means loving ALL aspects of yourself, not just the ones that are “nice”, or more “spiritual”, or “attractive”. You learn to love every aspect of yourself, even the ones you might think of as “negative”. The universe is full of the balance of positive/negative, dark/light, up/down, hot/cold…..it is the nature of things to have balance, and all things that exist are here for a reason, including all of the aspects of YOU. Any unloved aspects of the self will cry out for love in ways that can keep you bound to the inner and outer drama.
But if we aren’t taught to love ourselves, how do we begin to turn the tide and feel genuine caring for all parts of ourselves? Self-love doesn’t happen by luck or the grace of God. You have to choose to create it. Some things that I choose to remember are:
* Knowing that I am more than my physical body…I am very clear that I am an infinite being who chose to come here for the fabulous experience of playing and creating in physical reality. I love my physical existence and the opportunity to be here in this life.
* Knowing I am a powerful co-creator. I have the power to choose, and this power is both the greatest responsibility I have and the greatest opportunity.
* Knowing that I am always in process and always becoming. I honor where I am in my process without judgment.
* Knowing that my feelings are powerful indicators of what I am creating, and therefore valuable information. I treasure my feelings and I respond to them with reverence. They are indeed part of my inner guidance system. I honor my feelings and act from them, even if it means setting a limit with someone or saying “no”.
Part 3 tomorrow…A SELF-LOVE Ritual
the Balance
So much work I have done to awaken the Sacred Feminine within me. So much attention have I given to embodying Her, to BEING Her in this world that has been so out of kilter for thousands of years. And that has all been right because it has brought me home to a large part of myself that is strong, deep, profound in its desire to heal and mother this world.
And in the last few months, another voice has been respectfully poking its head into my consciousness. It feels pointed, focused, exacting, harder than the quality of energy I experience with Great Mother or the Sacred Feminine. It is absent entirely unless I give it permission to enter my space, and then it comes in with a full force of presence, taking up room. To my great surprise, I am told it is the voice of Great Father.
Well, it is true that I have on obsession with balance. I know that my soul has a sense of humor because that is my maiden name. Balance is the closest thing to a religion I could say I have. Balance is the way of the universe, the way of nature, the way of the middle road. I respect and want to emulate balance very much, because I believe that is the natural way that things are, and I want to be as close to that as I possibly can.
Masculine/feminine balance is also part of that duality that we see played out in physical form. Notice I did not say men and women, but masculine and feminine, qualities of energy that play at opposite ends of a spectrum, holding the space for physicality to occur through the magnetic polarity of opposites. This is how all physical matter is able to be in existence.
So it would make some sense that my focus on the Sacred Feminine would be so successful…that I would feel Her, embody Her, teach others how to awaken that pathway within themselves…and that would lead me to Him, the Divine Masculine. From the strength of Her, I will come to know Him.
More to come about my resistance to the masculine, the work I am doing to remove the veneer of my internalized father from the face of the Great Father, and the success I have had recently in my new relationship with Him.
Surrender
“Love is an attempt at penetrating another being, but it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual”. - Octavio Paz
I’ve been known as an independent and willful person since I was very young; one of the most pervasive images I have been given of my own toddlerhood is of me sticking my chin out and saying “I want to do it myself”. These days we call that a “spirited child”, and know better than to think of these qualities as “bad”, or that the child is trying to be a trouble maker.
That stick-to-it-iveness has gotten me through some tough times, and so I am thankful that it has been a part of my being. It was a way to prop myself up when there wasn’t anyone on the outside holding me up.
Over the years, though, I noticed that there were times that called for a softer touch, a more melting center. When I began to consciously look at my own spirit nature, it seemed that there was something larger within that was asking me to surrender.
Surrender? Not me.
When I heard the word surrender, I thought of waving the white flag. I thought of giving up. I thought of being wrong and “I have failed in my efforts”. But this is not what my Spirit thinks.
Surrender, according to my conversations with my wise inner voice, is the act of allowing myself to become one with the greater Whole, or Love. It is laying down arms, letting go my need to be separate, merging once again with the larger flow of life.
This has felt like a safe way to conceptualize surrender to me. I don’t trust others enough (most of the time) to surrender myself to them or their agenda, but I DO trust Spirit enough to surrender IN it. Sometimes Spirit will ask me to surrender, and I will go kicking and screaming down the lane, but when I stop and realize it is only Love that wants to claim me, I stop fighting and it is such a relief.
But it is a choice! I know from hard won experience that I can choose to stay closed off in my little box because it feels safer to me. Sometimes I have been right to do that because conditions outside my little environment were NOT safe. But other times, I have missed out on some good stuff because I was so busy defending myself or hanging on to an old way of being that no longer served me.
So the Octavio Paz quote above has special meaning to me. Love cannot penetrate me, nor can I wake up to the fact that Love is actually the core of what I am, unless I am willing to open and soften and let it be.
Coming Through
Who knows what is going on in the larger collective? Lots of folks claim to, but I tend to think that we each have a slice of the pie, rather than the whole pie….a peek at the global story through our own filters rather than a completely objective viewpoint. My subjective experience is valid for me, but not necessarily the truth for everyone!
My subjective experience has been telling me that there has been some extraordinary energy moving through the collective these last few days. What I’m hearing as I report in from my corner of reality is that many are feeling this larger wave of energy, but some experience it as very difficult and others very lovely.
Thursday is when I started to feel that rise begin…it feels to me like being in the ocean, out beyond where the waves break. You can feel that a wave is coming because you get lifted off the bottom of the sea, and your body bobs up to the top of the lump that begins a wave, then you are dropped down and toes make contact again with sand. The wave continues onward towards the shore, where it crests and crashes down, becoming one with the larger body of the ocean again.
Thursday some extraordinary things happened in my life. My beloved husband confronted an oooolllllddddd habit passed down to him by his ancestry and brought it into consciousness, breaking the pattern and freeing himself (and us, his family). When it happened, there was a palpable feeling of something having changed. Our whole family felt it. A few hours later, a professional opportunity came his way, literally dropped in his lap, which has invited more good feelings in our family.
Then, Friday some folks looked at our house in Colorado, the one that’s been on the market for 1.5 years, and promptly feel it love with it and made an offer. We signed the contract yesterday, the day identified by astrologers in the know as a profoundly lucky day of 2010 due to Jupiter and the sun being in alignment.
The current energy wave is intense, don’t get me wrong. It’s not all sunshine and daisies; the recent earthquakes would indicate that there are folks who are in great distress as a result of the energy movement. And I have been hearing that some folks are having difficulty navigating the current energy. They feel anxious, pregnant, full, like they are ready to explode. Sometimes it feels just plain bad, and we want to hide under a rock until it’s over.
I do believe that what is within is also without, and vice versa, so to me it makes sense that we would see manifestations in the physical as well as emotional worlds of the internal or invisible universal energy waves that wash through us. I don’t think this is going to change; my sources tell me that these kinds of experiences are going to continue, and that the intensity will lessen a bit as we cycle through, until we get to the next wave.
Are we being cleansed? Are we being shown where we are putting energy that doesn’t serve us? Are we getting the opportunity to trim out the deadwood and let go into a life that we are truly meant to live? And why is it easy for some and not for others? Is the difference that sometimes we cooperate with the flow of the energy and other times we cling to the rocks, refusing to let go into that larger life? What keeps us attached to those habits and beliefs that threaten to take us under, even those that we love?
My sweet husband has had direct information for 3 years (via myself and my invisible helpers) that his unconsciousness was causing a major energy drain on himself and our family, creating havoc and despair, putting him crossways to his own soul. But he wasn’t ready to hear it until Thursday, and when he let it go, the energy wave that was building already bobbed him (and our family) up to the top of the wave, instead of holding us down at the bottom. The relief and feeling of rightness is unmistakable.
So now we are coming through this wave…the full moon today feels like an apex to me, and perhaps things will smooth out a bit for awhile to allow the next wave to build. This will allow us time to integrate the changes that have been made during this last part of the cycle; the deadwood having been trimmed (don’t go trying to pick it up and stick it back on the trees!), we will hopefully find our ground and center in a new way.
Rebirthing
The word “rebirthing” has been in my psyche quite a bit of late; perhaps in part due to the immanence of spring (around the corner, I hope!) Perhaps in part due to the “collective sloughing off” that’s going on for so many people, in our country and beyond. And perhaps in part due to the changes I have seen in my own life.
It is a hard thing to describe in quantifiable terms when deep internal change is happening. It’s like trying to put words on a moving, invisible target made of mist. The way I know change is happening is that I can feel it. Of course, I see behavior changes, but that is after the changes are integrated. The first way I know they are happening is that I can feel motion inside.
I’m not alone. I’ve been talking to some kick-ass women, women who don’t always have words for what they are experiencing, either, but trust themselves enough to know that something is going on, something big and good and life changing. They sometimes think they are alone, and they experience such relief when they realize that they aren’t.
These are the women I want to surround myself with in my life. These are women who are strong, have been through some things, have survived hardship, or pulled themselves up by their bootstraps when no one else would give them a hand. These women are feeling something inside of them, too, something that is calling them home. And they are choosing to listen.
Rebirth is a term that seems perfect for what is going on for me right now. I feel myself returning to a more childlike remembrance of my soul. I am having body memories of what it felt like to be me before I learned how to cover up my light. I am remembering certain qualities of myself that I’ve not really touched in some time. The experience is like, “Oh, yeah, I used to feel that feeling when I was little.” It brings tears to my eyes sometimes!
When I think about it from a pattern perspective (I’m always seeing patterns), I’d have to say that my core self is re-emerging after trying on a suit for some years. The suit worked well for awhile, even though it was uncomfortable at times. But now, I am done with that particular suit, and I want to try on one that is a better fit for me. A roomy, silky, blue and green, flowing suit.
I feel some fear and anxiety at times because I don’t quite know what is around the corner. But at the same time, I feel an anticipation, an eagerness…like the joy I felt at special times when I was a younger person. Like the whole world is my playground. I can’t wait!
Rebirth. Re-emerge. New/Old identity. Who am I becoming? I think it’s more ME.
She is Working Her Magic on Me
Last Thursday, I taught the first class in my inaugural “Faces of Her” teleseries. With great hopes and expectations, and lots of sweat and labor, I birthed this offering amongst 10 women.
It touched me in a different way to teach this class; it came from a more vulnerable place. I’ve taught many teleclasses, classes and workshops in my professional teaching career of 21 years, but this one was different. It came from the center of my heart, from the core of my being.
The journey to come to acceptance of my own inner Sacred Feminine has not been easy; I faced what all people face when they realize that there is more to our lives than what meets the eye. I experienced what all folks experience when they open to more feminine ways of being, and allow that to guide them in their lives. It’s no secret; it’s not the way our culture teaches us to live. Feminine equals weak or stupid or value-less. My decision to reject these ridiculous notions was nothing less than anarchy.
Learning to trust myself over all others has absolutely been a feminine journey. Learning to listen quietly when my impulse is to demand answers has absolutely been a feminine journey. Allowing myself to feel my feelings of sadness, anger, fear, grief and rage has been a feminine journey, too. These are all things that are suppressed in our culture.
But actually offering what I have learned to others…now THAT takes some ovaries (they’ve been making noises at me through out this process, by the way!) Being pregnant with this information, then going through the labor to birth it, then presenting it Thursday night has been nothing short of a feminine miracle.
I came into my room yesterday, where I have an altar to Great Mother, and upon entering the scent of jasmine incense wafted into my awareness. I paused to look at the incense burner; nothing there. I asked my husband and children if they had burned incense, and they said no, they thought I had been (they smelled it, too!) This is the second time in several days this has happened to me; a mysterious scent of something that does not exist in the physical reality of the space has asserted itself. I wonder if, like the scent of roses signifies the presence of the Divine Mother, of the scent of jasmine also portrays Her blessing?
The choice to offer “Faces of Her” has begun its magic…I am already different, MORE than I was before the class. In the decision to offer what I’ve learned to other women, I have opened some blessed door within myself, and She is working Her way with me!
Excerpts from Magpie Girl/Flock 3Q interview
These are 2 of the 3Q’s, as interviewed by Rachelle Mee Chapman of Magpie Girl and Flock, her wonderful SoulSpa membership. http://flock.magpie-girl.com/
Q. You are a soulcare practitioner with spiritual gifts for healing. In a recent blog post you wrote about how you wanted to attend your community’s Pastoral Alliance, but were advised against it because that group already saw you as a witch and a danger to the community. Can you say a few words about self-definition, and how this experience has influenced the terms and ideologies you use for yourself?
I have always felt my connection to the All That Is, and felt secure in that (with the exception of a few years of submitting to the tutelage of a “spiritual teacher” during a vulnerable time in my life, which threw me off track faster than anything else has.) My concept of Self since a very, very young age (my first memory of direct experience of the Divine was at age two) was that I was kind, connected, caring, and wanted to be of service. I started doing ritual at age 3 (that I can remember), and I knew how to manipulate my energy with my mind at age 11. I felt part of a loving Divinity, even though the world seemed pretty confusing. The messages I got from other people were sometimes quite different than my experience, and I did take on some of those false identities as a child, but I am removing those labels as I grow older and wiser. I am not interested in being defined by others, but in claiming definitions for myself that feel right to me. I’m happy to say that the core self-identity has remained intact.
Transparency has always been a part of my walk in the world. I have not felt it right to hide who I am…I thought it was a good quality to have! Truth and integrity (inside matches outside) are my highest values, I think. I still cannot tell an untruth; my body won’t let me! But telling the whole truth in every situation does not always serve. I think I have been somewhat naive and unprotective of myself in that I would be very open in any situation. Being willing to expose myself in any situation, which seems like throwing myself before the bus in order to get the attention of the people on the bus. Not a very good strategy! That was partially informed by growing up with very few boundaries with alcoholic parents, and partially informed by wanting to be accepted by everyone.
This occurrence in which I was identified as a threat to religious congregations in the small village where I as living has brought me many gifts, perhaps the biggest being a maturing, or ripening process. I am seeing that it is not modeling good caretaking of myself to throw myself in front of the bus. I am seeing it is not kind to me to put myself in situations where I am not loved and appreciated for who I am. I am seeing that it isn’t always supportive to put the WHOLE truth out there because not everyone is ready to handle it. I would never deliberately lie, but I may be more discerning in the way I tell the truth about who I am. If my intention is truly to be of service in this world, then I must feel where my openings are, and go there. It was also a lesson in going where you are invited, going where the love is.
I have determined that the most accurate thing I can say to folks is that I am a human living life in a spirited way, and that I act as a guide for folks going through spiritual transformation.
Q. What do you think is your “growing edge” in your work as a spiritual advisor? What upcoming projects are you excited about?
I am coming out of a 1.5 year sabbatical, in which I went through deep metamorphosis and have emerged into an expanded reality for myself. It is very exciting to be getting to know this woman I am evolving into and yet the kernel of her has been there all along!
My growing edge seems to be about claiming my power as a woman who chooses to embody the Sacred Feminine. I believe in balance, very deeply, and I know that I have both masculine and feminine energies within. I believe those energies are at their best when they are mature and working in cooperation. However, what I have seen in my sabbatical is that the masculine energy within me and that I see reflected in the world is one that is immature, needing healing in order for the world to come into balance. I have also been shown (and experienced) that the Sacred Feminine within me is very, very strong and very, very old and that She knows what to do if I allow Her to come forward in my life.
What has been shown to me is that the Sacred Feminine within each of us is calling to come forward, and that She is what will bring the world into a place of healing that immature masculine. When the masculine becomes the Divine Masculine, the exquisite dance that occurs between He and the Sacred Feminine is breathtaking and oh, so right. This information that has been gifted to me has brought me to tears many times; it is filling a hole I did not realize I had, and revealing the truth of my divine nature.
So I am teaching what I know after many years of experience of self reflection and trial and error…the school of life has been a great teacher for me. I teach classes in Sacred Feminine spirituality, integration of shadow aspects of self, shamanic art, working with subtle energies in the body as well as working in conscious partnership with other aspects of creation. I teach what the people want to know.
My indigenous roots have informed a real feeling of connection with all Creation; I belong to this earth and I know that if the human species is to survive, we must return to the ways of balance that our indigenous ancestors modeled. I have been called a Wise Woman by my indigenous contemporaries; I’m humbled by this recognition of being a woman who has walked the hard roads and who came through alive with wisdom to offer her people.
I am privileged to teach what I have learned to other women (and men, if they ask me!) in the form of classes, teleclasses, workshops, retreats, groups, and my writing. My “Faces of Her”teleclass is coming up Feb. 18th-it is a 3 session teleclass in which I will be teaching about various faces of the Sacred Feminine, both light/solar and dark/lunar, and how working with these aspects of Her in our daily life can bring immense awareness of ourselves as powerful and carrying a legacy that is asking to be born right now on this earth. It is an overview, a light touch, for folks to determine if they want to invite the Sacred Feminine within to be part of their lives.
Running into the Arms of Great Mother, part 3
While I was unmistakably being drawn ever deeper into a mystery that seemed to reside within my own being, my prickly mental self still fought the concept of the goddess.
This is where my inner “immature masculine” had been holding court all of these years since I’d had babies and devoted time to the feminine side of me. When I say “immature masculine”, I mean a quality of energy within me that feels like an adolescent boy, still growing into his paws; but subject to the spikes of testosterone along with not having the wisdom of age and experience, this boy has an uneasy relationship with authentic power and right action in the world. He pushes and forces because he does not understand yet that finesse is sometimes required to get where you want to go, that there is subtlety and nuance that makes slowing down worth doing. He gets angry and dumb in his pointless rage because anger feels like power. He wants control, to make the plan, to be in charge. He argues for the sake of arguing; he thinks it is a demonstration of his rightness, and therefore dominance. When a boy grows up in a supportive environment and wisely learns the lessons of life, this immaturity gives way to a beautiful, mature masculine that is a true wonder to behold.
My intellectual mind was the last hold out, and this is where my inner immature masculine had made his final stand (think Geronimo fiercely defending his last stronghold in the mountains of Arizona). A natural part of motherhood is the loss of some mental acuity due to the brain being overwhelmed with mothering hormones, resulting in a (hopefully) softer, nicer, more maternal mommy. And of course my body won; I couldn’t prevent the slipping into the agreeable pink and light blue cloud of baby bliss. But I grieved for the fact that I’d lost my edge, that I couldn’t think as quickly, retrieve words or names with lightning speed, debate with as sharp a tongue. In resistance, my mind dismissed the idea of Goddess, similar to God, as so much wishful thinking.
But when I learned that the archetypal energies of Great Mother/Sacred Feminine and Great Father/Divine Masculine were qualities of energy (ala Jung and Campbell and Pinkola Estes) that existed in the collective consciousness since the beginning of time and in the energetic structure of the universe, my mind could grasp that. Suddenly I gave myself permission to begin to know these concepts of Sacred Feminine and Divine Masculine, and my mind let go and allowed me to flow with what my spirit had already been bringing me to.
I began with looking at what the term “Sacred Feminine” meant. I read and researched texts from all over the world. Multi-cultural resources showed me that “Mother” and “Goddess” and “Feminine” were terms that were sometimes used interchangeably, but also had a multitude of faces, or qualities. I uncovered over 200 names of goddesses in multiple cultures and eras of time, each with specific qualities for which she was respected and called upon. I could connect with these faces of the feminine, no matter what era or culture; there was something about each face that could teach me, assist me, cause me to feel more alive in the world. I could seek these feminine archetypes within myself, bring them to the light of my consciousness, and successfully integrate them.
Some of my experience in working with specific names or faces of the Sacred Feminine have been utterly mind-blowing. Working with a Mother goddess left me weeping in her arms as She scooped me up, feeling so grandly mothered for the first time in my conscious awareness. Working with a particular feminine face that embodies righteous anger cleared the path within me to access and express and begin to heal my own inner rage. Working with a goddess embodying creative power unleashed a river of creative energy within me that had been blocked behind a dam of self hatred and negation. Working with an aspect of the Sacred Feminine that advocates sensuality and sexuality has blown off the puritanical doors that shut off my healthy sexual expression. Working with a face of Her that brought love of the body has opened up a new relationship with my physical vessel and all of its workings, and an awareness that it is precious, a treasure, sacred. There is so much goodness here to be had.
Things have happened which I have no explanation for. I have felt and experienced revelations within my own mind and body and spirit that were undeniably resulting from my desire and choice to connect with this archetypal energy. It was as if I was opening doors in myself that had been closed for a long time; ancient information lay behind those doors which was mine to inherit all along.
The greatest gifts that I have received from this decision in my life to consciously connect to and embody the Sacred Feminine through Her myriad faces is that in doing so I am coming into great peace and acceptance of myself, which leads me into providing the same for others; I feel permission to be in this world, and an important part of existence. I am okay. In Her, I am finding peace, healing, love. And claiming Her in myself, I can bring Her gifts to the parts of myself that have been crying for Her for so long, and then, to the world.
If you are interested in learning how I successfully work with the Sacred Feminine in order to integrate Her into your own life, please join me for my experiential “Faces of Her” tele-class, starting February 18th 2010. For info and to register, click here: http://www.liciaberry.com/Faces%20of%20Her.htm
Down the Road: Growing up my inner Masculine to become the Divine Masculine so that my inner Sacred Feminine and my inner Divine Masculine can have Sacred Union. YUM. Stay posted!











