Posts Tagged ‘writing’

(Image to come)

I debuted my art show last night, “The Journey of the Masculine through Shadow and Light” at my studio here in Tallahassee.  A part of the installation was a story that I channeled that morning and printed up, placing it underneath the 50 images that comprised this show.  I believe I was guided to make this art and to bring through this story in order to create a book.  However, I want to share The Story with you now. 

“Once upon a time, there was peace. 

The Masculine principle desired to expand its knowing of itself.  It began by making choices; these choices compressed All of Creation, towards the end of the Masculine knowing itself. 

The compressions resulted in the Masculine principle fracturing the world.  Manifestations included the subjugation of nature and the Masculine principle’s partner, the Feminine. 

In coming to know itself, the Masculine revealed the need for balance. 

All of Creation supported, in love, the Masculine’s desire to know itself.  All of Creation was in agreement with the expressions of the out-of-balance world that the Masculine created.  So, when the time came to correct the imbalance, the Feminine stepped in to bring balance. 

The Feminine principle held the space within which the Masculine began to mend the fractures.  The Feminine invoked the powers of balance to assist in the mending.  The return created a stirring in the hearts of humankind, which opened a door to a side of themselves they had forgotten. 

The return of the Feminine created a choice – to continue in the imbalance, or to embrace a new wholeness.  The choice became more and more apparent as the worlds collided; friction, the result of two coming together to become one, was the medium to invoke the choice. 

The friction became so prevalent as to capture All of Creation’s interest.  Spectators and supporters attended the Great Re-Balancing; across the farthest reaches The Story was felt and held.  The love that emanated from All Creation provided an alchemical support which increased the intensity of the friction. 

The increased friction acted like sandpaper, destroying old patterns.  Cleansing and re-ordering became the way of life.  The new wholeness was achieved through the union of the Feminine and the Masculine principles. 

Balance again reigned.”

What was interesting to me was that this channeled story has a happy ending, as if from a larger perspective, all of the pain and suffering that has resulted from the break between the masculine and feminine were just part of the “play”, and that in the end it really is just experience. 

However, the 50 images I was guided to create tell a different story…in graphic detail, I was shown over and over the fracturing and the pain and subjugation mentioned in The Story, yet there was no happy ending in the 50 images.  I was told that the human version of the story is told by the images, and that we’re not at the end yet.

I was so grateful for the considered questions and responses that folks had.   One man whispered quietly to me, “Thank you for not blaming the men for everything.”  It broke my heart, and made me glad I have access to another version of the story.

A flood of work is coming through me, and it seems to be very much in examination of the dynamic between the feminine and the masculine, both within each of us and in the collective whole.  I am beginning to see that part of my soul’s desire on the earth is to bring healing to the masculine through the embodiment of the Sacred Feminine.  I am brought to tears with this knowing. 

all contents copyright Licia Berry, 2010

Roots, by Frida Kahlo

“Listen. To live is to be marked. To live is to change, to acquire the words of a story, and that is the only celebration we mortals really know. In perfect stillness, frankly, I’ve only found sorrow.”
— Barbara Kingsolver (The Poisonwood Bible)

“When we traded homemaking for careers, we were implicitly promised economic independence and worldly influence. But a devil of a bargain it has turned out to be in terms of daily life. We gave up the aroma of warm bread rising, the measured pace of nurturing routines, the creative task of molding our families’ tastes and zest for life; we received in exchange the minivan and the Lunchable.”
— Barbara Kingsolver (Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life)

“Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.”
— Barbara Kingsolver

These are 2 of the 3Q’s, as interviewed by Rachelle Mee Chapman of Magpie Girl and Flock, her wonderful SoulSpa membership. http://flock.magpie-girl.com/

 Q. You are a soulcare practitioner with spiritual gifts for healing. In a recent blog post you wrote about how you wanted to attend your community’s Pastoral Alliance, but were advised against it because that group already saw you as a witch and a danger to the community. Can you say a few words about self-definition, and how this experience has influenced the terms and ideologies you use for yourself?

 I have always felt my connection to the All That Is, and felt secure in that (with the exception of a few years of submitting to the tutelage of a “spiritual teacher” during a vulnerable time in my life, which threw me off track faster than anything else has.)  My concept of Self since a very, very young age (my first memory of direct experience of the Divine was at age two) was that I was kind, connected, caring, and wanted to be of service.  I started doing ritual at age 3 (that I can remember), and I knew how to manipulate my energy with my mind at age 11.  I felt part of a loving Divinity, even though the world seemed pretty confusing.  The messages I got from other people were sometimes quite different than my experience, and I did take on some of those false identities as a child, but I am removing those labels as I grow older and wiser.  I am not interested in being defined by others, but in claiming definitions for myself that feel right to me.  I’m happy to say that the core self-identity has remained intact.

Transparency has always been a part of my walk in the world. I have not felt it right to hide who I am…I thought it was a good quality to have!  Truth and integrity (inside matches outside) are my highest values, I think.  I still cannot tell an untruth; my body won’t let me!  But telling the whole truth in every situation does not always serve.  I think I have been somewhat naive and unprotective of myself in that I would be very open in any situation.  Being willing to expose myself in any situation, which seems like throwing myself before the bus in order to get the attention of the people on the bus.  Not a very good strategy!  That was partially informed by growing up with very few boundaries with alcoholic parents, and partially informed by wanting to be accepted by everyone. 

 This occurrence in which I was identified as a threat to religious congregations in the small village where I as living has brought me many gifts, perhaps the biggest being a maturing, or ripening process.  I am seeing that it is not modeling good caretaking of myself to throw myself in front of the bus.  I am seeing it is not kind to me to put myself in situations where I am not loved and appreciated for who I am.  I am seeing that it isn’t always supportive to put the WHOLE truth out there because not everyone is ready to handle it.  I would never deliberately lie, but I may be more discerning in the way I tell the truth about who I am.  If my intention is truly to be of service in this world, then I must feel where my openings are, and go there.  It was also a lesson in going where you are invited, going where the love is.

I have determined that the most accurate thing I can say to folks is that I am a human living life in a spirited way, and that I act as a guide for folks going through spiritual transformation. 

Q. What do you think is your “growing edge” in your work as a spiritual advisor? What upcoming projects are you excited about?

 I am coming out of a 1.5 year sabbatical, in which I went through deep metamorphosis and have emerged into an expanded reality for myself.  It is very exciting to be getting to know this woman I am evolving into and yet the kernel of her has been there all along!

My growing edge seems to be about claiming my power as a woman who chooses to embody the Sacred Feminine.  I believe in balance, very deeply, and I know that I have both masculine and feminine energies within.  I believe those energies are at their best when they are mature and working in cooperation.  However, what I have seen in my sabbatical is that the masculine energy within me and that I see reflected in the world is one that is immature, needing healing in order for the world to come into balance.  I have also been shown (and experienced) that the Sacred Feminine within me is very, very strong and very, very old and that She knows what to do if I allow Her to come forward in my life. 

What has been shown to me is that the Sacred Feminine within each of us is calling to come forward, and that She is what will bring the world into a place of healing that immature masculine.  When the masculine becomes the Divine Masculine, the exquisite dance that occurs between He and the Sacred Feminine is breathtaking and oh, so right.  This information that has been gifted to me has brought me to tears many times; it is filling a hole I did not realize I had, and revealing the truth of my divine nature. 

So I am teaching what I know after many years of experience of self reflection and trial and error…the school of life has been a great teacher for me.  I teach classes in Sacred Feminine spirituality, integration of shadow aspects of self, shamanic art, working with subtle energies in the body as well as working in conscious partnership with other aspects of creation.  I teach what the people want to know. 

My indigenous roots have informed a real feeling of connection with all Creation; I belong to this earth and I know that if the human species is to survive, we must return to the ways of balance that our indigenous ancestors modeled.  I have been called a Wise Woman by my indigenous contemporaries; I’m humbled by this recognition of being a woman who has walked the hard roads and who came through alive with wisdom to offer her people. 

I am privileged to teach what I have learned to other women (and men, if they ask me!) in the form of classes, teleclasses, workshops, retreats, groups, and my writing.  My “Faces of Her”teleclass is coming up Feb. 18^th-it is a 3 session teleclass in which I will be teaching about various faces of the Sacred Feminine, both light/solar and dark/lunar, and how working with these aspects of Her in our daily life can bring immense awareness of ourselves as powerful and carrying a legacy that is asking to be born right now on this earth. It is an overview, a light touch, for folks to determine if they want to invite the Sacred Feminine within to be part of their lives.

The response I’ve received since publishing my last entry about my desire to have “my own room” has been so interesting, I felt it merited a little more airtime.  Some have written to accuse my husband of not wanting to share power (sorry I told on you in my blog, honey!), others have responded that they feel this same urge but won’t allow themselves to have it, and most others just say, don’t worry, it’s coming.  Mostly, my own response is what is of note.

The night of the day of the aforementioned conversation, Pete and I talked again.  This time, I experienced him more receptive to my desire.  He listened attentively to my feelings, and reflected them back to me.  No negation, instead good listening, which made me feel safer to share what was happening with me.  We dealt with some real things and got to common ground.  He and I are on the same page, which is a relief to me.  SO, now that the immediate “perceived obstacle” is removed, what is really going on?

I did not ever have my own room, except maybe for the couple of years before my sister was born (and I’m not even sure about that).  Not whining, just sayin’.  When I moved to college, I had a shared dorm room.  It was not until I was a junior and moved into a duplex at age 20 that I had a room of my own, and began to taste what it was like to be master of one’s own space.  Of course, I met Peter when I was 21, and have not had my own room since then.

Now what I want is my own room, but not a bedroom…..what I want is a room that is MINE in which I can do what I WANT without being interrupted or distracted or have to move somebody else’s stuff.  JUST MINE.  And what I have realized is that I sound like a 3 year old kid!  MINE, MINE, MINE!

Well, I am not going to judge that inner 3 year old, but I am also going to include the perspective of the wise parent inside, who will temper the 3 year old’s insistence with some wisdom.  I am reflecting about why I feel I need an office to do the work I need to do, how I can proceed with that work to the extent that I can (without the office) until it manifests, and finally, what other ways I put things in front of my just getting DOWN TO IT.  This is all worthwhile reflection.

I wrestle with my inner logician, who says, “You are not making enough money to justify the expanse of renting an office.”  Also, “You are a mom and only have the hours between 9 and 2 (when BNO  -Boy Number One-  gets home from school) to do your work; does it really make sense to rent an office that will be empty so much of the day?”  And, “You’re a writer, why can’t you just sit on the couch and write there?”  And so many other perfectly sound reasons not to pursue this desire to have my own space.  Whew, all of this inner wrestling makes me tired. 

But there is a wiser voice, too, that is NOT defined by logic, but adds to logic in a feeling sense….it says that it is good and right to begin to bring this into my life because my timing is right.  It says there is nothing wrong with indulging this desire, and that it is in fact good for me to do so.  It says that I am freeing up and emerging in ways that will support the expenses and my desire to also benefit the financial well-being of my family.  I am also told it is indeed part of the universe’s desire for me, and that I will be supported.

So, I will balance the needs of my inner logician with the urging from my spirit to have the space in which to develop the things I will offer this world.  In the mean time, I will move forward and get some things done, even if my outer environment is not exactly the way I want it.  I will move forward and trust……It’s a-gonna happen.

Journaling this morning….11-19-09

I’m feeling sad lately not to have an office space that is my own room.  Licia’s space, where I can work on art and writing.  Crying about it this morning.  I am told this relates to being a teenager and not having much of my own, including my own room or private space.  Of course, Peter is worried about the money, and I think of this too.  I know my writing will not yield much in the money department for a while, but have been guided to create some teleclasses and local classes, so this should pay for any office I rent.  I am told it will be March of 2010, now.

What does it mean to have a quiet, dedicated space for me to do what I want to in?  I am definitely needing to relive being a teenager and fill up that empty reservoir.  Of course, Peter is correct in citing that I have had my own space, in Asheville, in the apartment in Del Norte, and in the gallery space.  And I loved having those spaces, especially the Asheville one, because it was purely mine.  The Del Norte spaces I liked less because it was shared, and not quiet.  I can understand that he sees me needing an office or studio as unjustified spending because I don’t bring in the money.  I say this to myself every day, as a matter of fact.  What can I do for money?  Why haven’t I made money before to the extent that it supports my having a space?  Why does it have to cost my family for me to have this?

But I also think that I am coming into a new space in my life because my kids are getting older and needing me less.  Before, I always had them in the back of my mind, and if they called from school or the years I home schooled them, it was me that ran to serve, me that got interrupted, me that multi-tasked.  They have always been my top priority, and that has been as it should be.  Peter doesn’t understand this because he has been able to be away and dedicated in his job.  I know he is under so much pressure being the bread winner for our family, and I am grateful for this because it has enabled me to raise the boys and truly be there for them.

 But now, they are getting more involved in things and doing their own thing…and I am needing to have a quiet, uninterrupted place where I can leave my things, not have to move from couch to chair to bedroom, where I can walk in and out and leave projects in motion, a space that is mine alone.  Is this too much to ask for?

Perhaps that is what I have been doing with the blog and websites over these years…defiantly creating a room of my own, in which I get to be the boss, I get to decorate the walls with Kiss posters if I want, I get to have control over something that is only mine, for a change…..making my presence felt and trying to do it in ways that justify expense or my existence in the world….by trying to make money for my family, my offering services to humanity for free for years and years….what if I am allowed to do it just because I am worth it?

Today I spoke to Peter about how much I enjoyed using his home office as a dedicated space while he was gone to Colorado this last week.  Of course, my stuff needed to be moved in order for him to resume working in his office space.  I understand that.  But when I was expressing my need for my own space this morning, Peter interrupted me to argue with what I was saying, rather than to listen deeply to what I was trying to say.  Apparently, it hurt my feelings because now I am not smiling at him.

Here’s what I know: I am emerging.  I need space in which to do that.  I am always going to be the mom and wife and partner in this family, but in the few hours that I can, I need to have my own space in order to do the work I’m meant to do in this world.  For reasons that I can’t seem to logically explain, it is hard to do that in my house due to all of the interruptions and noises and distractions and things beckoning at me to complete them.  Even when I had my own office space, it had to be about building a business, and that conflicted greatly with writing, which is not a money producer for me (yet).  Plus, I was still very much mom to my boys…I did not have the mental space unoccupied that I am starting to feel freeing up now. 

NOW, I feel as though I might have a chance to have the focus and the drive and the discipline to write those books that have been hounding me every moment of my existence to be written.  It could not have been so before without it costing my family something…I feel now it would be a benefit to my family for me to get these things done.  I am a nicer person when I write, and feel better about myself when I get a chunk of writing done each day.  And it is so much more doable to do these things in a dedicated room of my own.

Here is what I want:  a big room, like a studio, or a couple of rooms…one is comfy and soft, and this is the Writing Room as well as where I would see clients.  The other is the Art Room, where I will have tables and shelves and organized bins with my art supplies in them.  I can leave art projects out on the tables because we will not have to use them to eat dinner on.  It is inviting, and yummy, the way I always decorate my spaces.  When I walk through the door, I instantly relax and take a deep breath.  It is quiet in this space…no noisy neighbors, no shared walls with a corporate office or rap music producer or a college kid with stereo.  It’s my universe, and I feel full ease and permission to be me.

Universe, please send it my way.