Continued from March 14th post https://liciaberry.com/blog/2010/03/14/how-do-i-love-me-let-me-count-the-ways/
Mother 2-Feminine Soul, 2008 collage by Licia Berry
So how do we joyfully surrender to loving ourselves unconditionally?
The quickest path to self love that I know is to decide it. What I mean by that is to consciously choose to love myself. One of the intentions I speak every day is “I choose to love my self unconditionally, and I ask my angel team to help me do that.” Then I follow up with choices that support that intention, such as being kind to myself in little ways, smiling into my eyes in the mirror, and laughing. For example, when faced with a choice to watch a scary movie or a funny one, I ask myself “which is more loving to me in this moment?” and most often I choose the funny one. I feel better after laughing than I do after jumping out of my skin!
I also take myself out on “dates”. I insist on alone time because it helps to ground and center me (this can be challenging as a member of a family of four!) And I have begun to “court” myself…..I wear things that make my body feel good or that make me feel sexy, like something soft or with a plunging neckline, maybe pick out some extra-fancy jewelry (instead of my usual practical kind) and then I look in the mirror and say ”Ooooh baby, you are looking good tonight!” Just the other night I was in the hot tub with my husband and surprised myself totally by kissing myself on the shoulder. Out of nowhere! It was completely unconscious! I guess those self-love messages are really getting through! I crack myself up.
I have heard that Queen Latifah made a promise to herself that she would not marry anyone until she married herself first. She had very positive and strong female role models when she was growing up and therefore had the reflection of loving eyes and sweet encouragement. She knows she is precious. She loves herself so much that she bought herself a wedding ring and put it on her right ring finger, a symbol of how she chose to wed herself before wedding any other. WOW. Unapologetic, passionate, fierce devotion to self. Can’t mess with that!
When you think about it, on this earth we are all we’ve got. Yes, for a time we may have a beloved in a relationship, or children to dote on, or friends to laugh with, but we know that things change and that we are left with our own precious self in the end. Therefore, speaking practically, it is a good investment to start loving yourself NOW!
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
-Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900
What does Self-Love mean?
Does it mean you get to eat ice cream every night just because you want it? Well, sure, as long as you love the possible consequences of that choice! Sometimes the choices we make are out of a place of NOT loving ourselves. Are you making choices out of self love or self loathing?
Just as a lack of self-love has a vibration, so does unconditional self-love. It has a quiet, steady radiance which draws others to its light. I define self-love as a deeper, quieter love; that you hold yourself in the way you would hold a baby or your sweetest lover…so tenderly. And this is because you realize that you truly are a Child of the Universe, and the Lover of the Sacred.
And we aren’t talking halfway here! Unconditional love is true love, love without limitations, conditions, or reservations. This means loving ALL aspects of yourself, not just the ones that are “nice”, or more “spiritual”, or “attractive”. You learn to love every aspect of yourself, even the ones you might think of as “negative”. The universe is full of the balance of positive/negative, dark/light, up/down, hot/cold…..it is the nature of things to have balance, and all things that exist are here for a reason, including all of the aspects of YOU. Any unloved aspects of the self will cry out for love in ways that can keep you bound to the inner and outer drama.
But if we aren’t taught to love ourselves, how do we begin to turn the tide and feel genuine caring for all parts of ourselves? Self-love doesn’t happen by luck or the grace of God. You have to choose to create it. Some things that I choose to remember are:
* Knowing that I am more than my physical body…I am very clear that I am an infinite being who chose to come here for the fabulous experience of playing and creating in physical reality. I love my physical existence and the opportunity to be here in this life.
* Knowing I am a powerful co-creator. I have the power to choose, and this power is both the greatest responsibility I have and the greatest opportunity.
* Knowing that I am always in process and always becoming. I honor where I am in my process without judgment.
* Knowing that my feelings are powerful indicators of what I am creating, and therefore valuable information. I treasure my feelings and I respond to them with reverence. They are indeed part of my inner guidance system. I honor my feelings and act from them, even if it means setting a limit with someone or saying “no”.
Part 3 tomorrow…A SELF-LOVE Ritual
https://liciaberry.com/blog/2010/03/16/how-do-i-love-me-part-3-a-self-love-ritual/
