8-2-04 journal entry
Padre Island National Seashore, while on our 2-year family odyssey, www.berrytrip.us
(Originally published in 2006 on www.liciaberry.com “All is One, I is One”)
I am starting to get it. In the last few days, maybe even over the whole time we have been in Padre, I am starting to understand at a habitual, cellular level: I am not separate from my consciousness or from my physical body or from my Spirit. There is no separation except the one that is created by my mind. It is all One.
It started to occur to me along time ago as I asked the question WHY? All the time. I wanted to know the reason for things, I wanted to get down to the root cause of something. An annoyance to most every adult and child around me, I persisted in my search for answers, feeling, knowing that underneath the surface, there was more information, a deeper cause.
When I was eleven years old I experimented with mind/body connection; I was successful in influencing something that was happening within my body by how I focused my mind. All of these years later, I have used myself as a science lab to test new awarenesses and tools I am given to assist in healing and transformation.
Of late, I have noticed that when I feel a physical manifestation of something coming up, I am going automatically (most of the time) to “what’s the message?” When I get the message, then I feel free to say, “This will go no further.” And the physical manifestation then turns around or dissipates as it is no longer needed to get my attention.
This came to a deeper level of awareness in the last couple of days along with the full moon. I was working with a client who is struggling with HEAVY HEAVY issues that have plagued her for a LONG LONG time. I felt the heaviness in what she was saying, the slowness of the vibration she was buying into and therefore resonating with.
I said this to her, and talked about the air-like quality of all of this stuff we get so invested in on earth. I talked with her about “chicken shit”, the true smallness of those stories we tell ourselves about who we are, the identities we wrap ourselves with in the name of our importance. And yet, it is what we came to experience, and if we believe that there is a Creator, then Creator wanted to experience these things through us. So it is important to acknowledge them and the feelings that arise as a result. This is where my presence as a healing witness and facilitator supports the person in transformation.
This is the magical moment…when pain is transformed into understanding, and we can integrate the wisdom, let go and move on. The alchemy that happens in this precious moment of healing is what I LIVE for in assisting others.
She and I had a flow between us in the conversation…..I felt the information move with ease from on high to me to her and to her on-higher self. It was easy, effortless, blissful. She laughed and I laughed as we realized that everything we have clung to as our pain is really nothing at all, except the creation of our minds. Oh, the drama!
Then I told her about my dream in my early twenties of being given the answer to THE QUESTION. You know, the one that folks crawl up the tallest mountain to find the guru to get the answer to.
So, in this dream I asked the question, “What is the meaning of life…why do we have to go through all of this?” I was given the answer to the question, and it was so simple that I laughed. I laughed so hard I woke myself up.
As I woke up and heard the laughter coming out of my mouth, I was so surprised that the answer flew right out of my head, and my mind forgot it. But the feeling of the simplicity of the answer was very familiar.
She asked, so why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we go through so much drama, and we do we buy in, and why do we hang on to the pain, and why do we forget? And I answered, laughing, because it is FUN.
I do know this answer deep inside me. I recounted my sense many times of having stood in the front of a line on the edge of incarnating with a menu in my hand, and taking my pencil and checking off every single item on the menu. “I’ll try one of everything!” It looked so fun from up there. And there were hundreds of thousands lined up behind me waiting for the chance to do the same thing, to come to earth to learn, to feel, to experience. I just happened to have been greedy and wanted to experience EVERYTHING. And so my life has been so full of experience and lessons, so full as to have been called a life lived encompassing many lifetimes.
In the moments when I believe I have touched enlightenment, I have understood that it is a privilege to be here, pain and all. The experience of being alive is a joy, even if the experiences are hard and painful. All the hard stuff that I have lived through and used to propel me in my growth process has prepared me to assist others who are living through hard stuff. It is all a beautifully orchestrated dance, each of us with their unique part to play, all part of the One.
