I’m currently experiencing the release of old body memory. I’ve gone through phases of this at different times in my life since I began recovery work from childhood sexual violence at age 23. Each time this happens, I am more awestruck by the healing process and the protective power of the human psyche.
The unlocking of my old body memories happens in different ways; after the unlocking, the memories can be processed. I find there are many ways to process the information that is revealed, too.
Each time I go through this journey, I am reminded that I must be ready for the information that is presenting itself to me; otherwise, it would simply not present itself to me. That my capacity to handle the information revealed in the memories supportively has grown. I am reminded that I already lived through them once, and that they won’t kill me, no matter how awful they feel. I am reminded that I can do something constructive with what is being shown to me.
But sometimes our body will try to tell us something and we are afraid; we don’t think we are ready, we don’t want to know. Our sweet body will comply with our subconscious request to keep us in the dark, but it can only hold the old memory for so long before the body begins to break down from the stress. I believe that it takes a substantial amount of life force energy to keep little pockets of memory cached away in our bodies/psyches; life force that could be otherwise used in creative endeavors, being healthy, feeling love and joy.
Reminds me of the old adage: the only way out is through. Seeing something through to the end, especially something that involves the healing of our precious souls, seems the only correct course.
Allowing the body to speak its secrets takes some courage. I think how I have treated my body over the years, had disdain and hatred for it, talked meanly to it…wanted to lop off pieces of fat, starve it, exercise it to the point of exhaustion…and I realize I have not been very loving to my physical partner in this life. Asking my body to lay down its burdens seems the only kind thing to do.
In the end, my body wants to help me. It is a cooperative member of Team Licia (which includes my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects). This means it is a valued player in this game called life, and should be treated as such.
Our body will show us it has something to tell us in myriad ways. My experience is that it will start in a subtle way, a way that might not be noticed unless we are already having good communication with our bodies. But if we ignore the subtle signals, things can build, and we can get sick. Sometimes getting sick can be the greatest message from our body to slow down and develop an internal dialogue.
Body memory is something that we are equipped to deal with when we are ready; and it is a true gift to our body to allow the memory to be honored as something the body has lived through. The body is conscious; it has memory. Just as we want to be acknowledged for our triumphs and trials, perhaps the needs of the body to be acknowledged should be considered.
