I recently hosted 3 screenings for a documentary called “The Heart to Lead-Women as Allies for the Greater Good” here in Tallahassee. Over 30 women here in north Florida came to watch and share in discussion after the film…we were so inspired that we are creating a Women’s Leadership Circle to explore and encourage each of us to develop our own skills of leadership as we are each called to service.
But what IS leadership?
Some of the women said that they initially had negative responses to the word “leadership” because it implies “followers”. The old paradigm of leadership is definitely one of “I’m the expert, follow me” and sometimes one in which power and trust are abused. One in which we are encouraged to give our power way to something outside of ourselves. As we exit the Piscean age of “power over” and enter the Aquarian era of “power with”, that old leadership style ain’t gonna cut it anymore.
But my calling to leadership has been an internal journey, one in which I have decided to lead myself.
Here is leadership as I define it (I add to this list continually):
- Owning my life, my spirit, my soul, my thoughts, my mind, body and emotions, and taking responsibility for them.
- Caring for myself wisely, discerning for myself what is right.
- Listening to and acting on my wise inner voice.
- Being rigorously honest with myself to stay true to my integrity.
- Being my own expert.
- Having opinions and giving myself permission to express them, even if others don’t want to hear.
- Allowing myself to make mistakes, and being responsible for making it right when I do.
- Being a deep listener and observer.
- Having the strength to be vulnerable and to be with others who are in pain.
- Having the courage to go into the dark to get answers in service to my people, my human family.
- Modeling the behavior I want to see in the world.
- Having the courage to do the right thing, the hard thing.
- Knowing that I am part of a larger whole that I am indeed a caretaker for.
- Getting it that I have a right to own the space I take up on this beautiful earth as being uniquely me.
But I have shied away from leadership. It came from my discomfort in my own skin, my unwillingness to have an opinion in case others disagreed, my feeling of being unsafe being Licia, fear of my own power. It takes some cajones, or in my case ovarias to step into that kind of self ownership. But the universe apparently won’t let me hide out.
Others saw leadership in me long before I did. As a kid, others would come to me to speak their troubles. I was called wise beyond my years by counselors, teachers, and even my own mother (you know that tired tale). As a young woman, I was given immense responsibilities without my asking and before I knew I could handle them. As I moved into the professional world, I was asked to start organizations and lead others. Even the film The Heart to Lead was given to me by a visionary woman and prophecy maker who, with a knowing twinkle in her eye, handed me the film and said, “You’ll plant some seeds in women when you show this.” I had no idea that I would be asked to start a women’s circle to put us all through the alchemy of becoming leaders. How is it that these people saw “leadership” written all over me when I couldn’t see in myself?
Maybe because being called to leadership is kind of like being asked to step into a big destiny that you can’t know the outcome of, and maybe we feel that well before we actualize it. James Hillman spoke in The Soul’s Code of children who were scared, shy or exhibited learning disabilities before they grew into great leaders in their calling. Winston Churchill stuttered before becoming the statesman. Minalote, the world’s most accomplished bullfighter, clung to his mother’s skirts as a child. Albert Einstein did poorly in school and was considered “delayed” before changing the world with his visionary theories. Maybe I have had a sense of my destiny s a leader and cowered before it, while others sensed my destiny in the very molecules of my being and encouraged me toward it. And learning to lead myself has been great training for my leadership in service to others who want to lead themselves.
I find others struggle with this calling to lead; my FaceBook friend and visionary MD Lissa Rankin shared on her blog about her own journey to stay the course in her calling. To quote her:
“But I discovered that you can quit your job, but you can’t quit your calling. I resisted in every way possible. I denied the call. I rejected the call. I bargained with the Universe. I pleaded that someone else be chosen to do this work. I cried on my knees. I didn’t want to be a trailblazer. I wanted to live this quiet life in the country with my family, rather than put myself in the spotlight and become a missionary for the purpose. I wanted to retreat, and yet I was being called to be the Universe’s spokesperson.”
I can really relate to this, Lissa…I’ve had a similar journey, starting out in public education and morphing into an educator about living a human life in a divine way, utilizing sciences, healing, art, shamanism and spirit in some weird blend of sense that is uniquely Licia Berry. It has been a confusing, challenging ride, and I have wanted to bail many times and live the quiet life of a housewife and mother, tending to my garden, canning and making quilts!
I realized that this vision I hold of the “safe life” is one that would eventually kill me, as I’m not meant to settle into my rocking chair, not just yet. The intense hunger to know, and to share what I am learning, drives me to ever expanding boundaries, the edge of my own frontier.
Thanks for holding that edge with me. 🙂
Xo
Licia
Thoughts to ponder: How do YOU define leadership? How are you a leader in your own life, and in service to your people?
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