I love naps. Not only is it a sweet way to gain a little energy in the middle of the day, but I find naps to be a special, secret meeting with my inner psychic landscape where I get SO much information.
My best surfing of the inner waves is in the place I call the “in between place”, the place between waking and sleeping. I get the best information there! The “in-between place” is one of my favorite places to see visions, receive guidance and see what my psyche is up to in its dance with my soul and spirit.
I’m already bringing a lot of conscious attention to the balancing of my inner feminine and masculine dynamics in order for sacred union to occur within. This is what I have been writing so feverishly about since May 1st, when I was catapulted into deep immersion and shown the feminine and masculine dynamics since the inception of humanity on earth.
With this New Moon, I have been feeling the push/pull that comes with any new moon as it conjuncts the sun; it is the dark/light, yin/yang, feminine/masculine balancing act that brings such interesting things to the surface!
But this New Moon seems to have an extra gravitational pull with it. I have been feeling Great Mother (my name for the Mother aspect of the Sacred Feminine) and Great Father (my name for the father aspect of the Divine Masculine) very close by, without me asking. I feel them pressing in close to my psyche, and find that my psyche yields to their precious wisdom.
The other day, I had a dream in which it became apparent that I interpret the Sacred Feminine through a masculine filter. Later that afternoon, heavy with the pondering and meaning of the dream, I lay down for a nap. As soon as I closed my eyes, I began to travel and heard so many suggestions. “Ask Great Mother to come to the front; it is time to allow her to lead.” This is congruent with what I have been working on, so I set this intention as I floated in the in between place.
As I felt the sea change that comes when I allow my inner feminine to shift to the leadership within, I felt distinct pain in my right kidney. Ah, I thought. My inner masculine is afraid to allow Her to take the lead. So I asked Great Father to help my inner masculine release his fear, and to help him relearn what balanced feminine energy looks like so he knows he can trust her.
The kidney pain dissipated as I set these intentions. I felt the feminine come to the front again, and then another round of kidney pain on the right. I set intentions again, watching and listening as I felt the panic of my inner masculine. My feminine role models have not been trustworthy…the words that describe them are manipulative, irresponsible, betraying, abandoning, selfish, fearful, cowardly, critical and judging. My inner masculine has good reason to be hesitant to let go of the wheel. He has learned he cannot trust the feminine because he has not seen examples of the balanced feminine in action.
Some hand holding was required; it took several times of this work of allowing the feminine to come forward and working with the masculine to help him see that the feminine in me is different than the feminine I grew up with.
After about 30 minutes of this activity, I came to full awake-ness, full of energy and feeling in alignment with the energy of this new moon. And the feminine and masculine dynamics playing out in my inner landscape, although under the surface of consciousness as I walk through my day, are more balanced.
I love how many levels we are simultaneously operating on as we navigate through this thing called life….what a wonderful, fascinating journey we have undertaken!
