Well, my last biological grandparent has left this earth and become one with the All That Is. I wish she had realized that while she was living! Ruby died this morning around 3:00 a.m. mountain time in Tucson.
It was not an easy death…my Aunt Wendy has willingly bourne the brunt of caring for Ruby in her last months, so she got to watch, up close and personal, as Ruby struggled to let go.
It was back in August that I got the first call that Ruby was “on her way out”. Her heart had stopped, but then restarted. Everyone flocked to Tucson to see her and to say goodbye. Much ado was made. But Ruby had other plans.
I would receive 5 calls in the next 6 months, all saying the same thing….”It looks like she is heading out.” But Ruby, an actress right to the end, could not resist another curtain call.
Truly, though, what Ruby wrestled with was her fear of letting go and moving forward, as is the case with so many humans, in death and in life. It is a hard, hard thing to watch.
In this time of crashing and burning for so many of us on the planet, we have a choice of whether or not to let fear rule us. Just like Ruby did. There are times when our spine is tested and it is good to stand against what touches us. But there are times when we are facing a tsunami and we simply cannot hang on. Do we face the inevitable with dignity and choose to cooperate with it, or do we succomb to fear and resist change, clinging to what cannot be sustained any longer?
Sometimes it is the right course of action to SURRENDER.
Some things got confirmed for me as I witnessed this struggle:
- Life flows much better if you don’t resist
- The same is true of death
- It is good to get your earthly life in order before you are making your exit
- It is good to live your life AWAKE and fully present, not in FEAR and in a triggered place of the past
- Drama does not do anyone any good, except in the case of entertainment
- In facing death (as in facing challenges), we are revealed for our truest essence
- Ruby is exactly who I perceived her to be in my wisest moments
I am grateful for seeing her twice before she died; in these last months, she seemed to get clearer and clearer. She said kind things to me that she did not ever say before; I felt that she saw me for the first time in my life. What a gift for me to feel her acknowledging eyes upon me, and to hear her say she now understood some things.
I assisted in the ways that I know how; praying that she release her fear, asking for the angelic spectrum to assist her passage, and yesterday, doing polarity work to ground her in her body so she would know that the earth would take care of it for her.
I pray for my sweet Aunt Wendy that she easily release the emotional energy that she has not allowed herself to express that has built up over these months. I pray that the trauma of watching someone struggle in terrible fear will be a wise learning and a healing. I pray that she will take care of herself now, and selfishly. I pray she does not allow this to cost her too much in her life. And I pray for her to now get some rest.
I pray that my death is graceful and in integrity with my heart and soul, and that I continue to make peace with myself and my life so that I leave feeling clean. I strive to live a good life; perhaps I can hope for a “good death”.
