DAY 36, April 29, 2013
“In the few days immediately following the eventful early morning of March 25th, I was in a dazed state of confusion and limbo. My body was weak and feeble, and my mind was swimming in an ever-changing reality.
“I slept more than I was awake; my body shut me down to let myself heal. All the while that I was in the hospital, I felt a sensation that I couldn’t quite describe; only now do I really understand what that feeling was.
“It was a feeling of being carried, supported, and cared for. I felt as if a thousand hands were holding me up to the light, protecting me while I healed from the inside out. I felt as if everyone in the world who held any semblance of care for me was pushing waves of comfort, reassurance, and safety towards me, and I knew that everything was going to be okay.
“I know that this is exactly what happened; without all of the care, love, prayers, and support of all of you who have been following my healing process, I wouldn’t be in near the condition that I’m in today. I owe you all a massive thank you, and I just want you all to know that I couldn’t have done it without you.”
xo Jess
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From Mama Licia’s Jess Recovery Journal:
March 25, the day that changed my life forever, carried so many amazing lessons from the very moment we received the call just after 1 am that Jess was in the ER in Orlando with a head injury. I’m still processing them, but some became obvious immediately.
We took turns being with Jess in the ICU after he came out of surgery. When it was my turn to go to the ICU waiting room, I stopped by the restroom first and found a fake million dollar bill in the bathroom stall, carefully placed there on the shelf. I had been already worrying about the money it was going to cost , a vague monster in the back of my mind, so I took this as a sign that we would be taken care of. I then walked to the ICU waiting room until it was my turn to go back in to be with Jess.
There I met the woman who runs the reception desk in that room; I guess her job is to keep families taken care of while they wait to see their loved ones in ICU. I said hello, and she immediately started talking to me with enthusiasm. I sat down in front of this friendly woman and we chatted for several minutes. I told her about Jess and his injury…it took about three sentences before she was talking about God and receiving God’s blessings. (I seem to endlessly attract this kind of conversation…which I love.)
She had said a key word…”RECEIVE”. Something I have been working on in my inner process for not quite 4 years, every since I broke my ankle and had to allow everyone to take care of me. Learning to graciously receive has been a tough one for me, but I have since understood this is hard for a LOT of us in this imbalanced culture So, I went out on a limb and asked, “If it’s not too personal, can you say a little more about how YOU receive?”
She looked at me like I was crazy for about 2 seconds, then she said straight out, “HONEY, if you are not RECEIVING the blessing of GOD, then you are telling God NO. You are saying NO to the gifts that God gives YOU. Are you REALLY going to say NO to GOD?” Well, I have to say I was speechless for a few seconds at the simple truth she laid at my feet. When she put it that way, it made me pause. I’ve been in service to God my whole life, giving when spirit asked, making myself available to be a voice for the divine, offering support when I was told it would be in service of God to do so. It seems I have been working at an imbalance. I was good at practicing the service model, but would I refuse the blessings of the abundant universe because I wasn’t practiced at receiving?
I got some practice right away. I activated several thousand people around the globe as a prayer network for Jess (fortunately thousands that were already connected to me through my writing and website), and then they activated more. The ripple went out, and people that I have never heard of or met started sending love, contributions to Jess’ medical fund, saying prayers for him and giving encouragement to our family. I received the most precious, sweet messages and emails from people who had either experienced brain injuries or knew someone who had, and they offered what they knew. SO KIND. There were literally many thousands of people praying for my son to be HEALED and WHOLE. It felt amazing! 🙂
So what does that feel like? It feels warm, like being in the Caribbean, lifted and supported, safe and carried. It feels like being in a universe that actually cares about you. Perhaps it is what is it like in the womb as we float in the sea inside our mothers. But I could only feel that when I opened myself up to receive it; my tendency to shut down to protect myself had to be corrected a few times, seemingly triggered when I became fearful about Jess or our money situation or something else. Fear triggers closure, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. And so I would breathe, open up the back of my heart chakra (the receiving side), and feel the ease and softness of my being pen back up…ah, there it is again, the universe that supports me. What a tremendous learning opportunity for me.
I want to thank all of you again…our journey is far from over, and I invite you to continue to check in periodically to see what we’re up to and where Jess progress is leading him (and us). But the medical crisis appears to be over (we hope), and the prognosis is very good for Jess to make a 100% recovery with time and lots of love and support. I know without a doubt that we could not have done this alone. Your prayers, love, encouragement, generosity and kindness have been such a place to lean on during this traumatic event. May your gifts to us return to you tenfold. xo Licia
WE’RE AT 75%! Jess’ Medical Fundraiser ends May 1! If you want to be part of this special young man’s recovery support community, hurry!
Start at Day 1 HERE
